Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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nlr917 05/11/2015

My stbx got the house, most of our "friends", and now is dating someone else and is perfectly happy. This arrangement of only having to be a father every other weekend, is his ideal situation. I hate being away from my little one and when she's gone, I practically shut down. I decided that i need to push through the pain and start looking towards the future. Turns out I was pre-approved for a mortgage on my own! FINALLY something to look forward to and build a better home for my daughter. Plus the mortgage would be less than my rent a month. I was in bliss for about a week when I co-worker comes out of the blue and says "this isn't a good idea...you need to think things through". Wow...kick me while i'm down...

When will it stop? I'm so tired of hurting. Every time I finally start being positive and actually look forward to something, someone comes in and puts their 2 cents in. I know everyone has their own opinion but I have been hurting for months...can't I just have one thing to be happy about? I feel like everyone is constantly telling me what to do and how to feel. I left my stbx because he was emotionally and verbally abusive and now i'm starting to realize there are a few other "friends" that are too.

mercyfoundme 05/11/2015

I say congratulations!! That is awesome. If you are concerned this person knows what is best for you better than you, then listen. Otherwise, I would write a pros and cons list for myself and see if homeowning wins. The market right now is great for most buyers so put that on your pro side ;) and BEST of luck. !

brokenpieces1990 05/11/2015

I agree with mercy, especially since it'll be lower than the rent you're paying. I say, don't let anyone else's opinion steal your joy! That's great that you found a house you can own and you definitely have a lot to be thankful and blissful about! I say, who cares what Miss Party-Pooper says, go for it!

nlr917 05/11/2015

Thank you both! I'm coming out of an abusive marriage and he pretty much brainwashed me into thinking I couldn't do things on my own and that I wasn't good enough. That pain still sneaks up (at the worst times, might I add) on me and when my co-worker said that, it made me feel like my world was crashing down around me again. I realize owning a home is a lot of work and sometimes things go wrong, but it's still a great investment. I thought working on a house would be somewhat therapeutic... it is something that is mine, that I worked hard for and it has nothing to do with a guy.

MrCellophane 05/11/2015

Not only can you DO things on your own, now you actually have the opportunity to MAKE THE DECISIONS on your own. Which is kinda cool, but also a lot of responsibility. Your co-worker was correct on one account: You need to think things through. That's a part of being a responsible adult - and parent. Whether "this isn't a good idea" is for YOU to decide. Weighing the pros and cons - in this case, of buying a house - is part of evaluating something, and making an informed decision. No doubt you already recognize that mortgage vs. rent is only one consideration. Location? Distance to work? Schools? Lawn mowing? Condition of house? Etc. In any case, getting pre-approved for a mortgage on your own is quite an accomplishment. And you are perfectly entitled to celebrate your accomplishments!

nlr917 05/11/2015

Oh I have done a ton of research! It's a better school for my daughter, not too much house or yard for me to manage on my own, it's closer to her daycare and the same distance to work.

MrCell - you're spot on with making my own decisions. It's a great accomplishment to come out of such a terrible situation and still be able to make sure my daughter has everything she needs. I have more responsibilities now, but they are all 100% worth it.

JenAY 05/11/2015

Congrats on getting pre-approved for a loan. I say go for it. I am wanting to start fresh in a new place myself. Do what you feel is best for you and your child. You can do this, you can do anything you set your mind too.

nlr917 05/12/2015

thank you all for the support :)

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