Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Since I dont have anyone to talk to these days (just got done commenting on the "so lonely now" post. Got me thinking that I miss sharing what I have done with regulary now. I hope you don't mind). Journaling just doesn't do it. I never reply to myself, seems to make it a one sided conversation.
Friday was the daddy daughter dance. I got both of my girls, and my dad joined me. We spent the night dancing. I look stupid dancing, but my youngest loved it, and I had so much fun. I let go of all of the stress of the day and the week. My dad took us out for pizza after, and then we got back to the apartment and had desert. It was such a great day. It was also the first night my kids have stayed with me. Was good to have them here. Made my apartment not seem so lonely. felt like there was life in it.
Saturday I had to take the kids back to their house as I had a motorcycle saftey class to go to, and the house is where my bike is stored. (planned way back before all of this crazy shit happened). I got a day to spend with other guys and a few gals, who all love motorcycling. We had class time for a few hours, but then spent about 5 hours learning new skills on our bikes. It felt so good to push myself. And it was the first time in a long time that I felt like I did something to improve myself. Once done, I headed back to the house. Feels so sureal to go back to something that is not "mine". I got to sit in the basement away from the wife while the kids ate dinner and played with Mom before I took them back to the apartment. Once here, we went for a walk. We found a play ground and while it was foreign to me I played a bit with them. I used to take them and let them play while I read a book or the news. Now the time feels wasted if I do that. So I am more engaged, which I am happy for. After playing at the park, we walked downtown. The kids played in our town square, running around the fountain and laughing. I am happy to see they are adjusting well to this.
Today, my oldest was up again before dawn. She just watched some Netflix and enjoyed the downtime. My youngest slept in till 10. She is 7, that doesn't ever happen. She said she slept good, which again makes me feel good. Maybe this can be home for them too? I let the kids eat and watch some TV, and watched it with them in between washing dishes. (Amazing how fast you go through things when you only have 3 of each). They wanted to go back to the park we were at yesterday, so we walked there and got about 30 min of play time before it started raining. We enjoyed the stroll back home in the rain, and then went on a hunt for Thinking Putty. It seems to help my youngest when she is mad or frustrated. So I figured I would try to find it. After a two store hunt we got it! Then it was off to the Toy store to get a toy for my oldest. Fair is Fair... Too bad it will be a light week for eating again. But well worth it for the kids to be happy.
I told them on my way back to their house how happy I was to have had them with me, and they said the best part of their weeked was spending it with me.
It sucks that my marriage had to go to get this. But I needed this. It's the first time since they were born that I felt like a dad rather than the person whos job it was to make them mind and do their homework.
Sad and happy at the same time now. Sad they are gone, and will not be with me much for the next two weeks. But Happy that we got this time together. I'll take this as a small victory.
Anyway if you read this all, thanks. It feels good to share it.
You sound like a good Dad and focusing On whats
important which is your two daughters And having a
good relationship with them. They grow quickly and
They will adjust if both the parents do. They just want
To be Loved and feel cherished and cared for.
Your relationship with your wife and you is separate
And has major issues. We had ours too, reconciliation
Only will work if both want it and are all in.
Just keep doing what you are doing, i know money
Is tight it is for most divorced homes. Two households
Same incomes not good. Many have to sell to divide
The Assets. HUGS
I have to say I've come to the same conclusions myself that I'm a better dad for having survived this tragedy.
I wish moms wouldn't say things like, "Don't make me tell your dad," or "You better look out, dad's coming." You know, stuff like that. I'm sorry your marriage had to end in order for you to get this time with your girls, but I'm glad you get it nonetheless. When they are grown up, they'll remember how solid and loving you were for them during a difficult and confusing time.
Thank you for sharing, and best wishes. You sound like a caring father and standup guy and I hope this bumpy road smooths out for you soon.
It's good quality time. I lost everything...they are all I have now.
Thanks.