Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just sharing

aditi1974
aditi1974
Went to Facebook and saw the pics of a major family reunion for some traditional occasion posted by my sis --lots of relatives, cousins, etc, etc. My daughter had gone to attend with my mom. I hadn't due to work but even if i did, i would seem like a total misfit in this occasion, i guess ! While everybody in the pics looked great and with big big grins, i would have surely been hiding in some corner--cos of the shame of the divorce and for being so damn fat.
I would have felt like a complete outsider with everybody having a good time and with me faking smiles , keeping the secret of my pain a secret.
From facebook, i rushed back here---knowing i dont feel like a stranger and a misfit here. Mostly everybody is going through similar situations here and I dont need to fake a smile here. I dont know what will make me seem and feel like one of 'them' ...maybe ui dont need to be one of 'them'...but i will always be the 'different ' one...alsmot a separate species !! Dont know where this is heading...just needed to share this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its ok to share your feelings. You feel safe here. We are all in the same boat. Hugs to you
deleted_user
deleted_user
You don't have to be one of them, you are your own person. I have always been the different one in my family and feel that's okay. There is no shame in divorce like years ago, it's what you do after the divorce to show you can move on and survive without him. Maybe try going for walks, it gives you time to clear your mind and helps give you a little exercise. I know how hard this is but we have to move forward as no one wants to live in this pain forever. But you're right, here we feel safe and understood. HUGS
deleted_user
deleted_user
We accept you just as you are, and so would your family. You should lean on them and let them in a little.

Many hugs. Don't ever feel shame. XOXO
reg63
reg63
In my book "different" is good. It means unique, one of a kind, and that is a rare thing now days. Embrace it. Revel in it. Enjoy every minute of your individuality and your beauty will stun "them" with it's intensity.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I totally relate to feeling like the outsider. Not so much because of the divorce, but in many other ways. I remember talking to my therapist, at the very beginning of my break up, in a total panic about how I was going to survive financially w/o his income. She said "You have a very successful career of your own and are extremely talented. Look at all of these very public accolades praising your work"! MY response: "I feel like a fraud! It's all coincidence; smoke and mirrors and when they find out the real me, I will get tarred and feathered"!

Her response to me was: We ALL feel like frauds sometimes. In fact, we all ARE frauds to some degree. Our inner thoughts and our outer selves are frequently at battle. Insecurities are part of us and it's what we do with them that helps shape us.

That stuck with me. Give that little demon on your shoulder a piece of bubble gum to shut him up and listen to the angle on your other shoulder that says: You're going to be just fine and your genuine smile *will* return again and outshine your expectations!


Nekaj's thread about 30 things to stop doing to yourself is a good one to read.
deleted_user
deleted_user
(Oops, that was supposed to be angel. not angle)!