Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have been on DS for almost a month, and I have seen the ups and downs of members- so I know this is probably normal, but today just really sucks!! I think I am finally starting to really do the work of letting go- and although I know that this is a good thing- my heart is re-breaking. Up until this point, I think I was doing the work in my head (I have a plan!) but it wasn't reaching my heart yet. It think my heart is finally awakening to the finality of my situation.
It has been so humbling to be "dumped"- when you think you are working so hard to make a good life for your spouse- and they take all of your love, efforts, loyalty and commitment to them and they they throw it away- I honestly don't think I have ever experienced anything so painful in my life. I think what makes it worse is that I had asked for a separation at different times (I didn't know why my stbx was so challenging to be married to/live with, but his new narcissist diagnosis explains a lot!!) and when he wouldn't do it peacefully- I backed down- now I would think the fact that he has left me should make me feel relieved (and I do know someday I will feel this) but instead I feel so REJECTED! My stbx's narcissism has never been more apparent than right now- he can be clingy and needy one minute and cool and detached the next. He is always trying to make sure he has a supply of attention (and if he can't get that elsewhere, back he comes to me). He says he loves me- but I know he doesn't know what that really means... It just feels like my guts are ripped open... and I just want to cry and cry and cry... YUCK!
(No, what I really want is to get my power back, feel strong and capable again- to feel like I can have joy in my life again.)
How do you guys cope with those random, rogue really crappy days? Do you ever feel like you have been wounded too deeply to ever be able to have another relationship again? (I feel like a limp dish-rag!)
Thank you for being so patient with me... I hate being such a mess!
Best,
K
It has been so humbling to be "dumped"- when you think you are working so hard to make a good life for your spouse- and they take all of your love, efforts, loyalty and commitment to them and they they throw it away- I honestly don't think I have ever experienced anything so painful in my life. I think what makes it worse is that I had asked for a separation at different times (I didn't know why my stbx was so challenging to be married to/live with, but his new narcissist diagnosis explains a lot!!) and when he wouldn't do it peacefully- I backed down- now I would think the fact that he has left me should make me feel relieved (and I do know someday I will feel this) but instead I feel so REJECTED! My stbx's narcissism has never been more apparent than right now- he can be clingy and needy one minute and cool and detached the next. He is always trying to make sure he has a supply of attention (and if he can't get that elsewhere, back he comes to me). He says he loves me- but I know he doesn't know what that really means... It just feels like my guts are ripped open... and I just want to cry and cry and cry... YUCK!
(No, what I really want is to get my power back, feel strong and capable again- to feel like I can have joy in my life again.)
How do you guys cope with those random, rogue really crappy days? Do you ever feel like you have been wounded too deeply to ever be able to have another relationship again? (I feel like a limp dish-rag!)
Thank you for being so patient with me... I hate being such a mess!
Best,
K
We all have those days where we take a step backward, perfectly normal, and perfectly able to recover from. From what I have read, you have been running your house alone long before your X ever left. Almost like raising 4 kids. ;) You are doing fine, this isn't a set-back, just another yucky step in the process! ((((MACMAC))))
I try keep busy. I've started reading again,gardening..all the things I put on the 'backburner' for my narcissistic stbx... try 'find yourself' again... the things you used to enjoy, hobbies...music... and you're having one of those 'heart ruling head' days!
HUGZ
With Sincere Thanks!
K