Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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gottabehercules 07/13/2016

Hi All,

Well my inaction has caused her to process. I recognize she is in a new relationship and wants to be free .... of me. She met the new boyfriend in Church (God bless Christian values) -- new boyfriend said ... hell ya I'll go out with another man's wife, not a problem. Wife says ... okay .... our marriage is over anyhow ... sounds good to me, let me break my wedding vows and pitch my marriage commitments and let's have some fun ... new guy! Hence the beginning, now she is in a bowling league with him ... that was 11 months ago when I moved out because my head was going to explode if I stayed in the house with her any longer. She has been jammin' him ever since and being sweet as pie to me as if I am just another dude on the street.

Well I have come to realize that I married a 12 year old in a 50 year old body. Jump back America ... who would have thought I would have done that? Actually, I was never "truly" married as it has become evident to me ... to her ... we were just continuing to date and the concept of "marriage" and what it means and the fact that it is a "different type of commitment" never really registered with her. Of course, she is 12 years old ... what should I expect. I gave her a $6K engagement ring ... would like to have that back as I am sure she will never wear it again. MY GOD HOW CAN YOU BE 50 YEARS OLD and NOT REALIIZE MARRIAGE IS A SPECIAL KIND OF COMMITMENT .... We just ain't dating anymore ???

Regardless of all this ... I have processed things for 11 months now since I left her. I am closing out the account, no more deposits, no more transactions .... it was a bummer to be with her and honestly .... I AM TOO GOOOOOOD FOR HER and her 12 year old mental capcity and maturity. See ya later .... let's get this paperwork done with ... glad you are burdened by processing everything ... glad I get to sit in the back seat and drink coffee ...... UNTIL ... the judge says .... "You are Done .... and You are a Single Man again ... she is GONE !

I feel sorry for the new guy ..... little does he know .... too bad for him :)

ltwist 07/13/2016

Er....I despise folks that hide behind their faith and act in complete and utter contradiction. Yes, most likely you are way too good for that "Christian" woman child. Stay strong and stay the course. My guess is your life is going to be full and better than you could have imagined one day.

mirandac 07/13/2016

My ex filed on me so he could have a better
Relationship with an AA friend. He thought
I would be happy for him to have found
someone he could be happy with. WTF
HUGS

suzelder 07/13/2016

Hercules, I am so sorry but I also know that you are going to withstand and move forward in a better way and as a better man. And yes you are too good for her... sending good thoughts your way...

ClearDay1 07/13/2016

I'm sorry for this I truly am.

I can only say that I'm her age, and was married once for 24 years. Were I to ever do it again, I can tell you it would be someone truly special and still not without careful consideration because it is such a huge deal.

Perhaps she felt trapped and panicked, I really don't know.

In any case, I'm sorry this has come into your life but I'm wishing you peace and happiness from this point forward.

samantha717 07/13/2016

I am sorry this is happening to you. Get yourself a good lawyer and move on. Just from what I found out on my own journey, the engagement ring is hers to keep. Also, you may not be able to close any accounts or take her name off anything now that she's filed. Most of the time, you are told to maintain the status quo until the divorce is finalized. My stbx served me with the divorce papers himself and wore a big grin while doing it too ... on Mother's Day. I was so stunned. My attorney advised me to file a counter-petition. She said that a lot of times, people who initially file try to back out later when the legal bills start piling up or their new relationship goes bust or they want to disclose all they are being asked to disclose. She said that a counter-petition would ensure the divorce goes through regardless. I was numb at the time so I just went along with it, but in the days that followed, I was glad I did. It gave me a feeling of having some control over what was happening and now, whenever I get court papers, it lists his name as the Petitioner AND the Counter-Respondent and that makes me feel better.

jojored 07/15/2016

Wow. How come some dude never invited me to be on his bowling team? Just kidding!

I hope the divorce process goes smoothly for you, the legal process that is. Keep on top of what the lawyer you get tells you to do, don't prolong anything in that respect. It just keeps you tied up in all of that crap, and the goal is to get out and move on. Glad you moved out of the house months ago and are healing yourself. The emotional process never goes smoothly, that's just the nature of it. But people here tell me you'll get through it eventually, and I've got to believe that's the case :)

ezzy345 07/15/2016

Im sorry you have to deal with all this upheaval. Some people are so incredibly selfish and immature it is unbelievable sometimes. Yes eventually this will be all done and you will be able to move on. I know its difficult right now but it wont always be that way. Sounds like it is not a bad thing she decided to move on. I hope things work out for you quickly.

Misred 07/15/2016

I'm guessing the closing the account and transactions was a metaphor since you've moved out a long time ago. So sorry to hear what you are going through. I hope you have at least seen one or two lawyers for advice. You absolutely must protect yourself. My EX would have been perfectly happy staying married to me and having women on the side. When I filed for divorce he was really angry, but it was what he wanted deep down. I wish him all the best in finding what he's looking for.
(((HUGS)))

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