I know exactly how you feel! I know that I should be kicking the h out the door but I just can't bring myself to do it because I don't want to freak everyone else out. If it was just me an him I'd do it yesterday and so it makes it hard trying to figure out what to do and how to do it and when to do it! It would all be easier if I just got it over with and said- GO!
I told my H yesterday that I am numb, have no feelings, that he broke me, and that I can't get back into the cycle of making up and doing okay and then slowly working through the abuse cycle again and again. He refuses to say it's abuse because he's not being the way he is on purpose, but he still finds every way possible to make me feel like crap whenever I have to deal with him- so I'm done with that- but we have a family and a house and it's so hard! I wish it were cut and dry, black and white, good and bad but it's all kinds of crap in between.
Pinterest has so many good quotes and articles if you search divorce, marriage, relationships, emotional abuse, etc. A lot of the things were created by women who are going through the same things so some of the info and quotes resonate with me so much- and they give me strength and confidence. I copied a lot of it and put it in a word document so I could print it out, or just read it over on my laptop when I need a pick me up.

Just a suggestion but you could both visit the emotional abuse board on this site as well. I totally have been where yall are. I had to accept that to most people, people I thought were my friends, I am the "bad guy." On top of all my own struggles and worries over money and my kids and church issues, I had to see people who "wouldn't take a side" well yea you took a side by not standing against emotional abuse! Sorry side rant.
Please take good care of you.