If you are both decent, caring parents, joint is the way to go...however if your ex won't even return your call when you call him about having daughter's eyes checked and doesn't exercise visitation, sole is the way to go. In my state, sole doesn't get you any more CS...I just don't want to have to wait for him to ok decisions about health care issues...daughter FINALLY got her eyes checked and was nearsighted. If he returned my calls about anything, I would leave it as joint. He'll soon find out that I'm filing for sole custody and I believe it will be granted in my case...my attorney says that I have the best chance he's seen in quite a while of getting sole custody.

never agree to sole custody. Joint custody means even though you may not have physical custody every day , you have rights over what school your children go to ,their medical decisions, getting school records. etc.

Physical custody can be either joint or shared but joint custody refers to whom has decision making authority over the minor children.. never give anyone sole custody over your children....

I have sole custody.

It made better sense that I did, the fact that they were 3 little girls who were terrified of him and questioned his ability to take care of them... yes..they questioned it...not me.

He works shifts and I am at home, my day is more flexible to take care of them, including those days when someone is sick. My family is 10 minutes away and willing to step in any time to mind the children. His dad is one hour a day and with wife #4 and really has no tolerance for children. MIL #4 is a lovely woman btw.

The reason the EX was initially going to fight me for full custody was to get the house. It was a battle over property.
The judge saw that and saw that I just wanted the children's best interest and I was ready to give him anything for the kids.

I am flexible...he sees the kids almost every day.. and he gets them on the fun days like birthdays and can call with little notice and I usually accomodate.

Bottomline...shared custody would not work.. moving back and forth during the school week was not stable for the kids. They needed to be in one home, and have their routine in place.

Unlike my Ex.. I am an advocate for my girls.. I listen to them and try to work out compromise...such issues at them not wanting to go to church with him is a major issue right now. It has been in the past...MY WAY or ELSE!... we don't want that.

I went for sole custody and got it because I knew my ex would never follow through on anything. If I had gone for joint custody, which would have been nice in my dreams, his child support would have been less. Then, if ex didn't take our son when he was supposed to, I would have been raising him with less $$ support. Of course in the nearly 5 years we've been divorced, I have gotten child support less than half the time anyway. He should be paying more $$ because he moved away and never spent time with our son when he lived here anyway. Thank God I make decent money and can support us. In the best of all worlds, joint custody is the best way to go because these kids need both parents. But if your ex is a jerk or abusive or whatever, fight like hell.

My stbx is the one who has never paid his taxes, bounced over 100 checks in a 2 month period, and right now as we speak, the house is again in the legal department at the mortgage company.

Plus, evry other weekend, when he has them, SOMEONE is always with them. Either his gf, my childs friend or they are at his parents house. He has NEVER spent time with them alone, and has only once in a blue moon called them. He always calls me.

I just dont see why he would want to fight me on this. He says its because they are his kids.

Whatever! I dont trust him and his whole family are alcoholics...seriously! No joke!

My ex and I have joint legal custody, with her having actual physical custody. It does give me more rights as to access to school and medical treatments and such. If he's a good dad joint is the way to go.