It's been two days since we broke off the wedding. As much as I do miss him because he was a big part of my life for the past 7 years...I think i'm okay. My family and friends officially all know that we called everything off and they're all just as angry as me. They say that I seem to be taking it okay but that eventually I will need to grieve when it hits me that we are no longer together. When I do get sad I just keep trying to remind myself of all the negative things that went on in our relationship. He never once lifted his hand to me but there were times where he would yell at me for stupid reasons to the point that I would cry uncontrollably. Then I would apologize even if I knew it wasn't my fault just so we could patch things up. He was very good to me for most of our relationship but he had an anger streak in him where anything could set him off.

I know he loves me and I love him just as much but sometimes things just aren't healthy anymore. We had many memories and great times but sometimes things just don't work out. We took alot of trips together and had many of our firsts together as well and those are moments that I will always cherish. When it comes down to it though I honestly believe that one day my prince will come who treats me like I deserve to, takes me out and isn't afraid to show me off. God knows that I will NOT be waiting 6 years for an engagement anymore. If after so long they aren't ready to commit then I simply need to move on.

I have so many goals for the upcoming year. I'm taking my exam at the end of January to become a certified middle school teacher which GOD willing I pass! I want to join the gym, find myself a teaching job then get myself a new car and my own apartment. I'm excited to have things to strive for! I need advice though, when should I allow myself to date again? Now isn't the time but eventually I think I want to join a dating site. Any of you have any luck on them?