I hear you buddy. There are a million things that trigger me and I just can't stop it. I mean little stupid things. I hope you can get past that. I know I'm trying.

I can only give you my thoughts right now at this moment. As I heal, my thoughts also change.

Remembering some of these acts that really represent acts of love can help bring a balanced closure to the lost. I went through a state of only focussing on the bad part of the marriage. There were nice moments now and then, often over-shadowed with some stunt he pulled. Asa I think of some of the nicer moments it helps bring balance to my healing.

Tulips are beautiful flowers. Buying flowers for your wife because you know she loves them is beuatiful. I would say cherish that you can still see something good while continuing to heal.

I like what Karen said. Especially the last paragraph:)

Next time, buy yourself some flowers, not necessarily tulips though.

You deserve them for all the work you've done..

(((hugs)))

just another used piece of equipment falling out of the closet...put it up on EBay

It is only natural that there are going to be these triggers.
It is not as if we can just fully wipe out any and all memory of the past, and remove ourselves from the world. We should expect them to come up at times, and it is how we react to them that will make the difference.

At least this was a memory of something really nice that you did for your wife in the past, and you should embrace that fact. It was something good.
Hopefully some time in the future there may be someone else in your life that you can treat in this special way, but as Tom suggested, maybe you should treat yourself to that pleasure for now.

I hear you it was also the little things for me. A song, an ad for a new play in town, car maintenance. And I also had tulips in my life that he re-introduced me to -- I miss him for that lovely gesture. Sorry that you are hurting but it does get better.

I understand, to. Seems like I was doing really well, and then went to the beach, which was a bigger trigger than I expected.

Ouchie, it hurts. :(

Hugs, to you!

Triggers are a real bitch. I seem to find a new one every day. Stupid little things that smack me in the head like a ton of bricks. I often wonder if there are things that spur memories of me for her. It is sad that I often waste so much of my precious time thinking about someone that does not want me. People tell me to think about other things. My reply to that is.....If people could just MAKE themselves think of other things there would be no such thing as psychiatrists and antidepressants. It is so frustrating to have so much of my life consumed by this, especially when I am sure she is bopping along like I never happened. I should be emotionally further along than I am. I am afraid this is one I will never "get over".

" I should be emotionally further along than I am."

according to whom exactly?

The mind is an incredible organ, I am amazed at how things you feel have been completely dissipated from your mind yet still there is an imprint left.They say the sense of smell is one of the strongest triggers for memories, incredible how these things and people still have a clutch on our lives.

Yes, those little triggers...and your post was a trigger for me. My stbxh never did those little things for me. He never took the time to make me feel special and that is just one of the reasons why I am divorcing him.

i understand sweet friend - you should buy you flowers next time. : ) it is amazing how it creeps in tho when you are least expecting it.

matt always brought me stuffed animals anytime he was out on the road. i had a slew of stuffies at one time - i think i have kept maybe 3 - the rest got put in garbage bags and got taken to the animal shelter.

xoxo

yeah, breakups/divorce suck ass. funny for me, a breakup after a 4 month relationship was worse than my 6 year divorce. i'm still getting over it months later. of course i made it worse by telling her i was interested in being friends (which i genuinely was), but then she took me up on it and stayed in my life occasionally. this was a HORRIBLE idea of mine so i finally had to tell her that i had been naive and couldn't communicate with her anymore. :-) it was like breaking up all over again.

I fight a little things like mosquitos, the big things bother me much much more.