I was married 18.5 years and have two teen daughters. My stbx sent me sn email on September 15th, telling me she doesn't love me anymore. We are now divorcing. I have my ups and downs almost hourly. The ups aren't that high and the lows are very painful. I'm low right now. I know I will make it for my girls and myself. I'm seeing a therapist, taking my meds, reading the Bible, praying, participating in DivorceCare and am on this site. We have to conquer this a minute at a time. I'm sorry you're in such pain. You're not alone.

I hope your meds kick in, post on the anxiety
Forum too if your not already. I don't take any
Thing i just know panic attacks are scary and
you Can talk yourself down.

I think you focus on say On the Books and start
reading the titles or go around the room with your
Eyes saying what each Little item is. To just calm
the Body down so it knows its safe and it will be okay.

The rest of that stuff comes with time and working
on Your issues, feelings, emotions and grieving.
HUGS

I am so sorry to hear you are going through that. This is all just so hard. Most of the time I feel like I won't make it but I have to stay strong for my two teenage sons. Today is my first day on here and I am so happy I found it. I have been desperate for support. I am glad you have found outlets to help you through. We are all hurting and in pain but I believe if we stick together we can all pull through with everyone's support and encouragement. You too are not alone, BIG HUGS!

Thank you Mirandac

I'm right here guys message me if you want to talk!

I agree with CrushedDad. We have to believe that this will get better, as hard as it is. It's a difficult place we are in, but life cannot be just this. As we force ourselves to move forward, we have to focus on what "forward" will look like for us. We can't allow ourselves to be stuck in this hole of our past. We have been drained of what we believed was our life at one time. All I can do is keep praying. I really pray for better days. - Hugs

I really hope so. I feel so lost and hopeless most of the time :(

Hang in there. It is tough - a lot of ups and downs. I still get the anxiety, panic attacks, depression, anger, etc. I stick it out for my 2 boys. My stbx I found out 4th of July weekend that she was cheating on me. She has put me and our boys thru hell. She moved out of the house Nov 1st in with the BF. But really hasn't been around the house since end of July. I have the boys and myself in counseling. We have a temporary custody order that has been in place since 9/15 and she has yet to abide it. Her only concern is introducing the BF to the boys. She currently only sees the boys when it is convenient for her. Sad really. The boys have had a hard time she just ignores it. But I get the loneliness piece as well and the nights are tough. I do a lot of praying. I meet with my atty, her atty and her tomorrow afternoon to start finalizing the divorce for a court date next week. So I am very anxious about tomorrow as all she wants is money and sees the kids as just pawns in the divorce. I wished I could do or say something to make it better for everyone. Thanks for letting me vent a bit.

It takes time and being patient and loving
with yourself. If you have some hope of better
days Ahead that will help you pull thru this.
There is a light At the end of the tunnel it just
does not Seem like it right now. HUGS

You're not alone...I'm terrified of going to bed alone, full on panic mode just walking towards the bedroom.

I have the same feeling. I feel like I have to force myself into the bedroom and make excuses to not go in the room.

You're not alone. I go through the day hectic with work and taking care of kids and then when they finally go to bed I feel frantic. We all go through it. It will get better. I slept terribly from November through December but now that I know my Stbx and I are divorcing and he has an apartment I can sleep better because I know what to expect.

But you will make it through this! Hugs.

Stay no contact as much as humanly possible, block all social media etc...this isn't showing a weakness, this is you demonstrating you're ready to heal and move forward without your ex. My ex wife pulled the same shit, I was depressed, thoughts of suicide, we were together 24 years and she had an affair and bailed out on me and our 17 year old daughter...of course she has her own bullshit story but the reality is she cheated and left...now the good news is this feeling of despair is TEMPORARY. It really does get better as time moves on, but you really have to cut them out of your life and forge on without them...almost 3 years later now and I visit this site because it was so helpful to me in the early days..and now while I'll still think of her occasionally there's Zero feelings for her anymore because I've come out of the fog and everyone here who is hurting will too. It just takes time and a commitment to leave them in your past.

Thanks for your response very helpful.

Thank you all!