Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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dragonvex 09/27/2016

6 years married and he asked for a divorce last week. I can't blame him either. Last year, I cheated on him. It was wrong and I've been working to make amends. He reproposed this last Christmas so I thought things were getting better...and I know it's been a struggle for him because he would get drunk, bring it all up, couldn't stand to look at me at times...but the other times were truly full of love...or so I thought. Now he tells me that his love for me has been gone since last year. Like I said, I don't blame him at all. I don't. We had even separated for a time last year...what hurts now is this crushing numbing feeling and sadness that just overwhelms me that I get to experience a second time with him. And he tells me that he's ready to start dating again in a couple of weeks because he's gone through the grieving all of last year and this year...he's over it...and it's all fresh for me. I'm not ready...hell, we haven't even signed papers yet...and I can't blame him. It's my fault that the marriage is over but I am just so lost.

mirandac 09/27/2016

I would get into therapy ASAP and talk it
Out and see how you can work thru this.

Let yourself grieve your losses. Guilt will
Eat you alive if you dont work on it. You Are
Far from alone in your situation. Keep working
On yourself and try to heal. HUGS

samantha717 09/27/2016

I totally agree that you should get into therapy. Guilt is very non-productive. It will, as Mirandac said, eat you alive and you will gain nothing from it ... no new insight or perspective, no personal growth, nothing. I have to say that I honestly don't know any marriages that have bounced back from something like this. I have heard of couples who went into therapy together and individually and worked really hard to turn the situation around, but I don't know any myself.

jimthzz 09/28/2016

You need to get into counseling and to not gloss over your cheating. You are correct that the breakup is precipitated by the affair.

It isn't useful to wallow it guilt and self pity and regret though. The damage is done. So prepare for your future wiser for your mistakes.

He won't forgive you and wants to move on, but still zing you with his hurt.

michaelsk 09/28/2016

Agree with the two above, getting help is very important. You can't keep this guilt eating away at you... believe me, I did not cheat on my wife but I began to treat her badly. Lost my job and started blaming her for everything. I became verbally abusive. Nothing was right unless it was my way.
I yelled at everything her and our son did. When she left and reality hit me, all that was left was shame, guilt, and regret. So I tell you for first hand...
If you go to Church ask there, most have wonderful programs to help.

If you ever wish to chat... Michael

zuzuspetals 09/28/2016

Hello Dragonvex,
You're being honest here, and with yourself. I think you nailed it - you can't blame him. And it sounds like he tried, but can't bare it. It's something we men will never forget, and I think it's a very rare individual who can get through the betrayal and still be in love. When I was betrayed I was lost too. I had no where to go but to God, and through my faith and His love I got through it and my life will never be the same. Give yourself some time; take your thoughts and feelings to the One who made you; stay healthy; and know that you've learned a valuable lesson about how to operate the next time you're married! Blessings

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