Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
some years ago, I thought I was dating the love of my life and also first boyfriend. We'd been together for a few years already and we weren't quite ready for marriage although we did pretty much live together. We decided to get a puppy and we loved him like he was our kid.
A year after we got him, I realized he was cheating on me (the story is in the infidelity group) and I was still so in love with him that we decided to patch it up and keep going...but long story short I found out last year that was cheating again with probably the n'th girl, some 17 year old whom I've suspected as his affair partner but he'd somehow managed to convince me that I was crazy and insecure.
I managed to break away from that abusive relationship and despite it having some negative effects on how I perceived relationships with potential partners in the last year or so, I was doing fine.
I haven't seen that dog for almost a year now and recently he was diagnosed with cancer and that forced us to reconnect. We were both overwelmed with grief and while deciding on whether or not to put him through chemo, he suddenly passed away one night and we were heartbroken.
I offered to help him with the vet and cremation bills, a little bit at a time. Besides that, we'd given each other a lot of emotional support to cope with mourning. Maybe a little too much support that I've gotten comfortable around him again and I've almost forgotten that he is serial cheater, a pathological liar and a selfish abusive partner. He tells me that's he's changed and he's a new person but I don't think so really. Perhaps that 17 year old didn't hit it off too well in the long run but he's still as sketchy as ever.
Problem is being close again reminded me of how great it felt to be perfectly in sync with someone, and having someone to fall asleep with and wake up to. Nobody has laughed at all mt jokes in the year we were apart. I don't want this person back into my life, but I also very desperate to feel like that with someone again (and yes I've tried to date other ppl but it hasn't worked out once) help
I like you have tried to put myself out there, have tried to meet new people, be open etc but it is not the same, it is no where near what i have ever felt with my ex and i honest to god never think it will be, as everyone before him felt the exact same way as it is now.
I was just clinging onto the hope everyone else was right and i was wrong. You have kinda proved my theory, some people just click with some people and not others and those may be the wrong people but you cant change that.
xxoo loves and kisses and i'm crossing my fingers and toes for you that this is just a phase and once you get over this things will be different for you, maybe you just needed this as your final goodbye to move on and for things to be different.
I would go to therapy to help you move thru this.
If you weren't healed that will be a problem, you
will Find the same type or go back to your abuser
and Then cycle continues. They say it gets worse
the more You go back. HUGS
You weren't healed, and until you change yourself the pattern will keep repeating whether its with this guy or the next.
You felt totally in sync with dysfunction. Not good.