So sorry for you. You seemed like you were almost over the pain and the meeting brought it all back. Look at it as a temporary setback though. Give it a few days and you will start to feel better again.

Soulmate is word thrown around a lot and not to downplay how you see it but...if he were truly a soulmate for you, you would still be together. Soulmates do not leave the other..especially for un-explained reasons. There may have been a lot you shared and had in common with this man but he would not leave you if you were truly meant to be together. Please know I'm not trying to be cruel here but trying to help you see from a different perspective.

My STBX used to always say we were soulmates and would we would be together forever. She doesn't feel the same now. She went from us being soulmates to her not loving me anymore and not knowing me anymore. It doesn't make sense and that is the problem with us on this end of the break-up..We try to make sense of their actions when there is no way for us to know what they are thinking or feeling. Especially when they do not tell us or are not honest with us.

Ok, I got a little carried away there lol. My point is..it is expected to have a setback in your situation. Of course all those feelings will come flooding back after not seeing him for so long and all of a sudden there he is. Just look at it that way..a setback. Remember, you are the one that controls how you feel, not anyone else.

Hope you feel better.

Oh girl, I know how you feel. I talked to my ex just now and my eyes are so swollen from crying that I can barely see. They are our soulmates, we want nothing more than to just have our lives back with them. We miss their smile and their one little crooked canine tooth. We look back on all the good times and all the love and wonder what the hell happened. Why is it so easy for them to leave? Why don't they miss us as much as we miss them? How can we go on? I even miss folding his underwear and I cried and cried over the fact that I will never do that again. Unfortunately I don't know the answers. I'm 40 and have never broken up with anyone. I was with my husband until he died 8 years ago, and now with my boyfriend for the last 6 years. So this is all new to me, and I can tell you I am unequipped to do it. I have thought about suicide so many times. All I can say is that people say it gets better. That eventually the pain will fade. I sure hope so. I think it is harder on those of us that thought we had a great relationship filled with love and laughter. It's harder to let go especially when there doesn't seem to be a reason. Just know that you are not alone and my heart and tears go out to you.

amanda:
I know how you feel I thought my husband and I were soulmates too.. But he has hurt me so bad... crushed me... I don't know maybe we were soulmates at one time...
I believe or want to believe that there are so..so... many people in the world that maybe just maybe there are many soulmates for each of us.. beings that we connect with on a very deep level. All that needs to happen is we find them one of them for that connection.
I will hold out hope that I find one of those that I connect with one day again. hopefully not too soon since I'm no where near ready right now.. but when I am I hope they present themselves... and I can again feel what I once felt. I loved being married and having that special someone... I loved the family life and knowing I had that person to call on the way home,, when my plane takes off..
someday I hope to have that again...
Be hopeful.. I think you will too. Your soulmate is out there just waiting for you to heal.
Sweet Dreams.

This is a tough one. He's hiding something and that's no way to have a relationship. All of us thought we knew our mates but over time who they were came through. It's easier to let go when there's a specific explanation. He left so there's a disconnect between what he was saying and his behavior. Red flag. Start creating new experiences to help you let go. I did a number of symbolic gestures to signify the end of my marriage, one of these was putting my ring in the church collection basket. I was married in a church and I needed to break that connection. There are many other creative ways to do this. Just a thought.

Wow, thank you all so very much for your kind, compassionate words. You have all made me feel better. Just knowing that others are going through what I'm going through helps me tremendously.

GreggG72, a friend of mine told me something very similar...that soulmates don't leave. It really does help me to think about it like that. I am so convinced he is my soul mate, but maybe that's not the case. I just pray I can eventually find someone who I can love that much again. I had never experienced such a deep, soul capturing love with anyone before him. I'm so sorry you are going through something similar.

Babbieloo, I'm so very sorry for your pain and loss. I wish I could give you a big hug. I know exactly how you feel! You are so right that we wonder how it could be so easy for them to leave. I have been a complete wreck for an entire year over him, but he has gone on with his life like I never existed. I too have thought about suicide many times. I know it sounds really stupid, but there's something about just knowing that I have a way out of the pain if I can't take it anymore that makes me feel a little better. Everyone tells me that there will come a day in the near future when I will not feel this way....that I will find love again....that I can move on with my life. I guess it's just that after an entire year of feeling like I want to kill myself, I'm just wondering when it will ever end?

blusky1, I truly hope you are right...that there is more than 1 soul mate for each of us. The things that scare me are....1. Not ever finding another soul mate and 2. Never being able to love someone as much as I loved him. I don't think I could ever settle for less now that I've experienced what true love is.

pollofritto, I love your idea of gestures to symbolize letting go! I can think of a few ways of doing that. I have some colorful leaves that he and I collected together on a vacation one time. I'd like to burn those, and I have some sage I'd like to light and spiritually cleanse my house.

Thank you so much everyone for your input. Maybe I can survive this pain a little longer. I am just trying to take it one day at a time.