Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members

100,360 Posts

1 Online

tcl18 08/15/2014

Hi,
Had a half decent day - kept busy, but now , as I relax, I have these sudden feelings that I ma making a big mistake, that it can be better, it can work - its almost panic like. I ended it after years of lack of communication, avoidance of issues and now him communicating with an ex - yesterday I was certain it was the right thing to do - I use to look forward to him being away for work and was stressed when he came home. These feelings tonight are really intense and I'm questioning what I am doing - scary. I am trying to conjure of all the reason/things he did that drove us to the break up. Is this something that happen to everyone - a stage? what a roller coaster.

deleted_user 08/15/2014

It's the bargaining stage my dear. Hang in there.

tcl18 08/15/2014

Is that what I am doing? even though I made the move to end it? Didn't expect this flood of emotion. I hope it goes away fast.

deleted_user 08/15/2014

Yes your mind is going back and forth trying to make sense, trying to decipher if you made the right choice. It's all a part of the process

tcl18 08/15/2014

I think I did make the right choice, which is why this is so strange. Thanks for your support. I can't imagine going back to the way things were, and , right now, can't seem to imagine not going back. hanging on to the majority of thoughts which say end it, despite the other sensations. so hard.

panther99 08/15/2014

Oh, it's normal, alright. I have moments like that and then moments where I feel I triumphed by getting out of this relationship. I think a break up with someone you love has to be one of the most difficult things. I think some life events need to come with warning labels...like having a baby...falling in love...getting married. No one knows the reality before they jump right in. LOL. I'm kidding, of course..but what you are experiencing is so normal but it feels so real. You will have moments of clarity in between moments of absolute panic that you screwed up by ending it.
Hang on and you'll make it through

flteach8 08/15/2014

Google "cognitive dissonance." I am going through the same thing. One day I think I made the right choice and the next I regret it. And yes...it is a rollercoaster but hopefully one day we will get off of it!

newrose2013 08/15/2014

Yes, it is a roller coaster and what you're feeling is very normal and it is a stage. I was aware of the "stages of grief" but much to my surprise, I didn't know we can revisit those stages. I thought once I passed a stage it was over but I have gone back and forth between stages, sometimes completely unexpected and out of the blue. As you wrote, remember why you made your decisions, remember the circumstances & stay strong.

tcl18 08/16/2014

thanks so much everyone. Reassurance means so much right now. So glad for this site and all of you.

momto22001 08/16/2014

Like others said it's a roller coaster, or waves is how I put it

I'm three years into my journey after 15 years of marriage. Even now every once and a while a wave comes out if nowhere

My former husband just split up with his fiance and it actually hit me hard. Not only had he left me but now someone else.

Why would this hurt me I don't know but it did

The feelings come and go and we can't control them . We just have to get through it

Join the Conversation