I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have a 8 year old son and 4 year old daughter as well. You are doing much better than me by coordinating with your husband to tell the kids. I was distraught on New Year's Day that I ended by blurring out to my kids we were getting divorced. It ended up being okay because the following day my Stbx went to sleep at his new apartment which he didn't bother telling me about. The 8 year old understand what's going on and asks a lot of questions but the 4 year old doesn't seem to get it since my Stbx still comes by in the morning to take them to school and often hangs out with them after school. I think as long as the kids know they still have 2 loving parents who are going to be there no matter where they live the kids will be okay. Believe me I was in your shoes a month ago and it took a while to accept it. You will be okay and you do deserve better. Hugs.

I went threw the same thing.
Due to different circumstances my son, who was 14 and myself told my daughter. She was 10. We waited until it was bedtime. We opened a box of chocolates and we told her. She cried herself to sleep in my arms.
It was hard but she was happy and well the next day.
You could try and tell them that they will have 2 houses now and 2 rooms each and how lucky they are.
They will be better off in houses with no tension.
It does get better!
Take one day at the time.
X

I feel your pain. My first husband cheated & im currently am divorcing my 2nd. I have 2 & 5 yr old. My 5 yr old is a very happy well adjusted little boy who knows mummy & daddy love him I just hope I manage the same with my current piece of s*** husband who has terrorised me in the months we've been apart. I know it sounds trite but it's better to have two happy parents apart than two miserable ones in the same house. I genuinely believed I had my happy ending & struggle hour by hour to accept I've not - not yet. I am so sorry you're going through this & I hope in time you put yourself back together xx

You will get thru this because you are strong. You are stronger then you know... When my husband left it broke me. I didnt know how to pick up the pieces but day by day step (small step) sometimes, You will get thru it.
I believe in you. I am here if you want to talk. Message me.
I am proud of you for reaching out. That is the first step to healing.

My Ex blindsided me as well and just wanted out of our marriage. We also had a house full of love, and out of nowhere it was ending. I have been divorced for a little over 2 yrs and separated for almost 3yrs. The day we sat down and told my then 4yr old and 3yr old replays in my mind as if it was just yesterday. Although the 3 yr old didn't really understand, our 4 yr old has always been wise beyond his years and could feel the pain and sadness. I really do commend you for putting your differences aside and sitting down together to talk about the change that will be happening. As long as you show your babies how much you love them and your stbx does the same, your kiddos will be just fine. Just make sure to always keep any drama between your ex and you away from your kids. I'm here if you need a little encouragement or need some advice from someone that's a little further in the co parenting world. Message me if you'd like. Wishing you a whole bunch of strength and patience...... Jen

It's so much better that you both tell them. I had to do it myself (with stbx in the room0 but he wouldn't say anything except: "this is not what I wanted but I guess it's happening." I told them that we both loved them, always would, and that we have to live apart. He offered no words of comfort to them, he only sees his pain. They were older, 15 & 17, and I only picked that time to tell them because I was thinking stbx would move out. Never did. It's about a year later, he's still sitting around feeling sorry for himself. If I had it to do over, I might wait to tell them until an actual move out were in the near future. The kids are confused because we're still all together.

I am so very very sorry. I wish I could reach across the screen and hug you, ask you if you would like to go grab coffee, sit with you, or pray with you. It is awful - truly awful - when someone you love and trust betrays you. It's devastating when a marriage falls apart - especially under the circumstances you have described. I'm divorced and now volunteer/serve with those who have experienced divorce and now remarriage. I can tell you that you are just starting a journey of grieving. I would highly encourage you to GO FIND SUPPORT. There is a program called DivorceCare and it's usually offered in cities across the country. Find it, go, learn about grieving through divorce, and get support. Some DivorceCare programs have a component for children as well. You will need others who understand to support you and for you to lean on. Having that support is very important. Even a local church? Or counselor? Be open to talking with your kids through the process. They will grieve alongside you in their own way. It is going to take a lot of time. Allow yourself that time. It is terrible and I wouldn't wish divorce on my worst enemy. However, you WILL survive. I promise. You will have some scars for sure, but they will be badges. You will come out stronger than ever. All the best to you and your children.