Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I posted a few things recently. I divorced last yr after being separated for 2 yrs in our house. I hadn't planned on dating but met someone by accident and we were just going to be friends but that changed. So we dated for this past month. He admitted he was an alcoholic and had other problems, some depression, etc. He is several years, 16, than me. But we did seem to become close and talked all the time on the phone. He was very open and honest about how he felt and we were both apprehensive and tried to take things slow.
It is really hard because even though we only went out about 3 times last Saturday night he just didn't show up or call to tell me what happened and I haven't heard from him. I have tried to call several times but nothing. I vaguely know the general area where he lives. I just wish I could go by to see if he is ok. I texted him and told him I wish we could start over as friends. I do think that would be better and we both have really isolated ourselves and could use just friendship. But is that just not the thing to do?
It is really hard because even though we only went out about 3 times last Saturday night he just didn't show up or call to tell me what happened and I haven't heard from him. I have tried to call several times but nothing. I vaguely know the general area where he lives. I just wish I could go by to see if he is ok. I texted him and told him I wish we could start over as friends. I do think that would be better and we both have really isolated ourselves and could use just friendship. But is that just not the thing to do?
You have your own issues to deal with, are you capable if taking someone so damaged on?
To be healthy, one must surround oneself with healthy people. How will this be a positive in your life?
That said, if you believe you can handle it and want to try and be friends with him at this point, know that its going to come with times of no contact, angst, and whatnot. I don't recommend it. Its hard. Its draining and it causes heartache, even if its a platonic relationship. If you choose to stick with him, Al-anon might help you understand and cope with it all as well.
For the record, its never to late to become sober. It all depends on what quality of life one wants. 70 isn't too old. He just has to be willing, but if he's not? He's not. And you'll just have to decide how much of that you want in your life.