Wow that's a tough one I haven't ventured anywhere that we used to frequent together but I'm sure it will be tough when I do. Right now work is the harfest place for me to be because she was doing her online stuff with that guy while I was at work so my anxiety gets goingif I let it. Of course home isn't much better since we are stuck as roomates for now while the divorce processes.

Yes, I have places like that too...places where ghosts will probably be around for a while, but as with a lot of things...time can make stuff fade...even the hold that old memories have. Give it time...hopefully you can go back there again with your daughter and enjoy it for what it is and what the old memories can mean without letting it hurt your heart so much.

yes. places. events. all kinds of things like that. I'm hoping to gradually be able to do those things again.

We used to go to the coast all the time. First time I went without him I sat in my car, stared at the ocean and cried for two hours. Now it's okay but back then it was hard no matter where I went.

Yes. This little Italian restaurant where we had our first date. I got there hours before we were going to meet, reserved a table and tipped the waiter to let me leave flowers. I still remember the look of surprise on her face when we were taken back to the table. I'll never forget her smile. I went back once since and it was like someone punched me in the stomach. Haven't been back and I don't plan on it.

True felifel, the lingering ghosts. You weren't wrong in going. It shows strength and strength in being honest to breakdown with memories but most of all strength in facing reality. Don't deprive yourself of anything don't give him the ownership over things. I too feel uncomfortable about doing things he did or went to, but then I think, why should I, as I enjoyed going there and I was as much a part of the happy memories and that it is his loss. Yes he spoilt many things for me, many places and activities we did, but then I remind myself now that I'm doing it is my choice, my pleasures. You're doing well Felifel and it is okay to break down; it is part of being honest and healing. Take care and hugs :)

I'm right there with you on Disneyland. That was where we'd gone on our first trip together, the trip where we fell head over heels for each other. So yeah, really not looking forward to that first trip there and yet... I went to Disneyland before him, so I kind of resent feeling reluctant to go too. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. :/

A bunch of us always used to roadtrip to Sacramento to hit up a dim sum place. The last time we'd gone was for my birthday back in July. I can't even have a happy memory of that because my STBX had convinced me to invite the woman he left me for (she'd been a friend for a number of years and often did come to birthday stuff but she'd never been one of our usual dim sum group). Some of the old group and I are planning on going to dim sum again (first time since that trip) in a couple weeks so I guess we'll see how that goes.

For me it's more songs or movies that I can't listen to/watch. I've removed stuff from playlists or from my iPod so it doesn't happen to come up.

STBX and I never had any special place we went to so everything is fair game. There are a couple of restaurants here that we frequented but again, that's in the past. The only problem I would have is if she was in one with him and I happened to walk in. If that happened, I'd leave but luckily anything else is open.

Thanks for your responses and sharing your stories. Good to know I'm not the only one. :-)

Nope ... there aren't any special places. I actually look forward to going to some of the places I had bad experiences with my ex so I can see that those places didn't suck .... it was just the company I was with.

This is probably one way I'm lucky my ex never did anything with me, or go on vacation with me...everything I do now is "new" and untouched by him.