If you had already been separated one year
things Probably went way past the lets talk
stage.

I really don't know what "the talk" is suppose
To be. We did lots of talking that went no where
Good or healthy for too long already. He could
Not hear or see me. He didn't want to either.

After my ex asked for a divorce there really Was
nothing left to talk about. He wanted to Be with
someone else. The divorce went thru lawyers
mostly. At the end Its all about the financials and
the children if you have Any, HUGS

What would be the purpose of "the talk"? If he doesn't want to hear what you have to say, he's not gonna hear it if you talk until you're blue in the face. Such conversations are usually frustrating and are always pointless.

If I chained my husband to the floor in a dungeon, propped his head up and immobilized it, then forced his eyes open with toothpicks, he would still not see me or hear what I have to say. I still remember him ignoring the marriage counselor when she said things like "wait, she had something important she just said". He never will listen. I stopped trying eventually, as it was a huge waste of emotional resources. I then checked out of the marriage, but he was already long gone. Only you know if yours will really want to hear what you have to say.

The talk would basically consider of me ranting about he supposedly didnt have a emotional affair with a woman but still sees this woman OFTEN. Basically me proving to him that he is verbally lying while physically showing his truth. I know so much that he doesnt know about that came from ppl i know wouldn't lie..but then again me proving "my point" won't change the fact that we have a court date for divorce, soon!!!!

Right, you stating your case won't change anything. In fact, if you have knowledge of crappy things he did, or lies he told, maybe you want to hold on to that information, just in case you can use it as leverage when the divorce is in full swing. Knowledge can be power. When I started revealing things to stbx's lawyer, boy did that change how he handled stbx's case. These were ommissions on stbx's part, basically lies by ommission. I think they cost him dearly.

Getting things off your chest rarely benefits anyone, especially the person ranting. You get all worked up, say your piece, then realize it had zero affect on your husband. Now you just made yourself look crazy, or overly emotional, or some other term he can come up with to describe you having "the talk". I guess my advice would be to not say anything.

Are you having a quickie divorce?

Journal it would be more helpful. I use To do
that and then reread it and tear it Up. Guess
what, nothing changed nothing Ever got better.

I use to print stuff out too, same thing nothing
I did worked. MC that did not work either. I was
just wasting my emotional energy on someone
who didn't deserve it. He was checked out And
long gone.

Watch your financial back he is no longer Your
friend more like your enemy. HUGS

Journaling, yes a great idea. I do it daily, starting back 2 years ago when I was considering divorce. It lets me say things in a safe place, with no one judging. Afterwards, I don't feel the need to tell him off. I did handwrite a letter to stbx once, on scraps of paper. It was very heartfelt and told him exactly what I was feeling. It really was on scraps of paper, and I would have had to rewrite it for him to actually decipher it, but I never did. It probably wouldn't have made any difference, but I do wish that I did it. That I had my say.

If the talk is solely to present him exibits of what you know, it serves no purpose.

If you have the strength to do the talk to set him free even though he hurt you due to his inaction or action you may find peace and internal closure. I did6

There was no talk with the ex. He was never coming back home to be a husband. I had info that was used in the contempt hearings. All three of them. I'm not sure he knew exactly what I knew about him. Some of it I still don't talk about. Won't talk about. He's one of these people who deny over and over until you put the proof right under his nose. That is what the atty did at our second contempt hearing. I couldn't get a straight answer from him at the end of the marriage. I don't think a talk would do any good with the mindset he had. Talking this late into divorce may not help at all.