My STBX husband and I have been seperated since September. He asked for a divorce and to me, it was completely unexpected. He says that he hasn't been happy for a while but doesn't or can't give me more details than that. We've been married for 20 years, since we were both 18. We have two boys 13 and 7. If you would have asked anyone, including me, they all would have said we were a "perfect" couple. We had our arguments but I would have never thought a divorce was something that would happen to us. He moved out about 3 weeks ago and seems to be moving forward as if nothing is wrong in his life.
The first 5 or so months were awful. Depression, weight loss, sleepless nights... I really didn't see myself ever getting out of it. This last month, I've had good and bad days but what I want to know... is it normal to feel okay one minute and feel utter dispair the next? And if it is normal, how long will this go on. I can't see myself ever completely moving on, I've been with this man more years of life than I have been without him. If there is anyone reading this that can give me hope and say "I also loved ... and thought I woudn't move on but I did" I would appreciate it. Thank God I have a wonderful family (sisters and mom) but as for friends, there are none... my friends are all the wives of his guy friends and it's too awkard to put them all in the middle of this situation. Sorry this is a bit rambling, it just feels nice to let it out.
I am at a better place with my ex and his wife than I have ever been. I can actually have a conversation with him on the phone and keep my cool. When either one of them does something annoying I just do an eyeroll, chalk it up to them being them, and move on with my life. What I'm struggling with is the double identity crisis. Years ago I went to going away party for my mother when she...
This is a link by Darlene Lancer https://www.whatiscodependency.com/trauma-abuse-breakups-divorce-ptsd/#more-13463 about abusive relationships and moving forward.After reading this and speaking to my therapist by phone today, as I progress through the begining of trauma work I'm finding that this article speaks to 'me codependent' to what I hope to achieve Some Day as 'Me, healed of...