What is the difference between anxiety and your internal instinct? To me, those are very similar things. It doesn't sound like you trust him a whole bunch - and trust issues don't get better by getting married - they get worse.

Regardless, I would go with trusting your gut instinct. Its there for a reason. Had I listened to mine instead of going with my heart I could have saved myself a world of pain.

Best of luck. xoxo

it won't get any better being married. it sounds hopeless to me.

Feel free to laugh....but I used a magic eight ball (yes the ask a question then shake) to answer if he was right for me for 5 years. I was doing it instead of listening to my gut saying he is not what you need. Trust yourself. Best of luck and hugs. It ain't easy!

DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THIS MAN!

He does not know what he wants (according to you anyway). He will continue to do the same thing and it will just be harder to break off.

My solid advice to you is to continue to have no contact, get over him and start a new life.

IF you haven't gone the route of counseling, do. There's no rush to do anything. If he's serious, time will tell. Counseling may help you two break your cycle of argue and him walking away. If you can develop healthier communication skills, it could make a world of difference.

Instinct is very important, but it's not always right. It could be, and that's where time will tell. I wouldn't get married til you break the cycle. Sometimes, it's the habit, the two way patterns we develop that are destructive. Together, with help, you may overcome your trust issues, if he overcomes his urge to run. People change!

Thank you all for your advice I am considering all of it right now. I was beginning to trust him until I got that strong feeling today that it was all going back to the same road so quickly it seems. I think if I am not strong and firm in a decision i will be regretting things. The reason I said the marriage thing is because I know he is afraid to commit so I thought he would say forget it and let me go on with my life. Instead to my surprise he chased me down. I ignored him until he convinced me he really does love me and we can change. Then I thought ok well, I do love this man but I get hurt every time he leaves me because I stick with it even when the road is tough but he doesn't he runs. Like you all say.. it most likely won't change..I do see that. The Church (I'm Catholic) requires a meeting with the Priest first to determine if you are even meant to be married. If he talks to us and thinks we are meant to be married we then must go through classes called marriage preparation or marriage encounter where you are given instruction and counseling on how to treat each other with respect and put God first in the relationship. Now i figure if he lasts through the next nine months of counseling, classes, and all the requirements and we both think we can work it out and do better then I still feel like it's a big maybe. I think the majority here feel my apprehension. I feel I should give him the chance to see if we come out on the other side but i do not feel I should put it in the bank that he will make it that far. I guess I do have trust issues with him and I know he is probably being told that I am crazy by his family (he lives with his sister now because he left), his family has seen us do the break up thing again and again and what little family I have has too and nobody thinks it's a good idea for us to even be together. We have this crazy love thing that even though all odds are against us we desire each other intensely on many levels. There have always been people in the way of our relationship and there is a culture difference which has been hard for my son and I because he is Mexican and his family speaks spanish all the time and we sit there feeling like outcasts. its been so rough and i wonder do I just desire to suffer? Am I crazy? Why do we keep ending up back together even though I resolve to quit and cut off contact but when I do and only when i do he endlessly chases me. Its like I told him you only want me when you can't have me and when you have me you leave. That is really how I feel deep down. This is bad for me because from childhood I already have abandonment issues that cause a lot of my anxiety and he just kills me with this stuff. I feel crazy a lot of people call me crazy. I am bi polar too so being reckless and risky is something i need to pay attention to in my own behaviors. I will gladly listen to more advice it may help me resolve my problems if I hear it enough.

ask yourself if you can make a happy, stable home with him. if the answer is yes, marry him. if the answer is no, then don't marry him.

If I were you, I would seek counseling as an individual. You can't deal with all these complex issues effectively with just good advice. We are taught as marriage and family therapist that good advice can't do what clinical intervention will do. I would also stop giving him what he want. It sounds like after he gets what he want he no longer feel a need for you, but he don't want anyone else to have you. That's not love nor caring for an individual, that's selfish lust! After clinical intervention, I would break off the relationship and start over for the sake of yourself and your son. Remember, he is being impacted by this also. Love your son more than some uncommitted indecisive man who jump in and out of your life based on how he feel at the moment. Hope this help!