I have a STBX that used to tell me that I was crazy and creating all the ideas in my head until I finally found him with the other women on the phone talking about me ....Trust me he at the moment even told me that I was creating all the ideas in my head....I told him I am not crazy I heard him and I also can read texts..........Sometimes the guys think we are just so naïve

It's a common tactic of some people when they are trying to manipulate you. Instead of owning to their bad behavior they turn it around and attack you. After a while you start to question your own thoughts and mind. Eventually you get to the point that you start making up excuses for them before they start attacking you. You start walking on eggshells because you know they will question your every thought and you start getting your evidence before even voicing anything. It's a horrible way to live. I live it now. I know.

He's "gaslighting" you..very common tactic of cheaters, they're so unoriginal...look up the term on google. Make you think YOU are crazy..

No, he asked me why I was going through his stuff, so I told him he had until friday to move out.

He's gaslighting you

I got the gaslighting and plenty of blame
Shifting and loads of crazy making. I Never
knew i was such a bad person And wife :)

It Was not all about the cheating more about
his Unhappiness with me and his life and he
Was a checked out spouse then he had found
someone new, HUGS

No you are not crazy, irrational, or emotional. What does your gut tell you? Not with my husband but with a past boyfriend, I have experienced this. I went as far as to call the phone numbers and talk with the ladies. I confronted him and he blamed me for going through his stuff. Unfortunately today some people don't respect the boundaries of marriage to include those who are married. Some eventually find that the grass is not greener on the other side. Listen to your gut because some type of red flag has set off your senses.

Oh man! I've learnt a new word. Gaslighting that is!!! I was close to the point of thinking I'm the one with problem and why the heck I can't trust him, right before I knew that the guy I thought whom will never ever lied to me had be lying to me for almost half a year! He was entertaining her flirts before we broke up, we broke up as he wanted someone new, we kept in close contact cause I was still hoping for a future with him and know nuts about the existing of the relationship between him and he girl. Even when he is trying to woo me back, he is still lying to me! And all came to light after I saw one msg he sent to his close buddy since he had deleted all de whatsapp msg with her. I gave him another chance cause he was really apologetic and was answering all questions I posted to him even harsh ones but I still have my doubts and fears. Trust is a big issue for us now. But i also know that for my own sanity I had better trust my own gut feelings, question him, and fight back his accusations whenever I sense something is wrong

scumbags...

scumbags...these people have no dignity.

That's exactly what I went through. I'm seeing it's a pattern with cheating spouses. And I thought I was the only "crazy one". I'm praying for you.

That's exactly my soon to be an ex husband is doing to me. He is a psychopath and lies and lies and lies. I used to question my sanity, but I see that he is the sick person. He fools everyone with his charm and he sure fooled me for 19 years. Stay away from people who don't take responsibility and want to blame others. They have no conscious and no heart.

I want to thank everyone for responding. When I read up on that term "gas lighting" I got so emotional because it described my husband well. I have a lot to think about. But I appreciate the support. It's unfortunate that others have gone through this but there is some comfort that we can work through it and overcome it!