Why is he making this threat?

He will think that every time he makes an empty threat, you will placate him.

Is he a good dad?

Can you handle his new relationship? And really, do you have a choice? Its his life now in that sense in all reality. But really, anyone who threatens to disappear, and in that, impact his relationship with his kids? Is pretty much an ass. Its a power move on his part and its immature to say the least.

...And what does he mean if you can't handle his new relationship?

I met my ex's new wife last June, at my son's birthday party. I told him to bring her so I could lay eyes on her and so my son could see me with her. They got married last November.

There is no "handling" involved. My ex is fully aware of three things:

1. Don't f*ck with my kid. Ever.
2. Don't f*ck with my money. Ever.
3. Do not have my son call another woman "Mom". Ever.

As long as my kid is safe, cared for, and my ex does what he needs to do, then he could spend every other weekend banging the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. His sex life is NOT my concern, any more than mine is his.

Now, if he demanded I "handle" something...then, I would call him on his bluff. But, I can't imagine that scenerio as he has never "demanded" anything from me, and now wouldn't be a wise time for him to start :)

Your ex has a lot of nerve.

So what he's saying is that his relationship (whatever that is) takes priority over his kids.

He doesn't sound like much of a dad to start with if that's how he feels. I don't know what the problem is, but disappearing out of your kids life is never the answer to problems. It's actually an easy way out where you can give up on your kids and focus totally on the new arm candy.

What does he mean about you not being able to handle his new relationship? Why can't you handle it. Why do you have to handle it at all? Will it violate any of the divorce stuff such as child support if he "disappeared?" Why does he think it would bother you for him to disappear?

IMO, unless he is a bad father, he needs to be present in their lives. And you have to do what is best for them. Most divorced women I know wish their ex would disappear so tey wouldn't have to deal with them.

Love #5 lol Nuff said! Who can really add anything after that? ^5 TTMI

Well the problem is I'm still in love with him. SO no I can't handle his relationship because I still want to be with him.

I don't want to meet her
I will not pretend to be her friend
And the less I know the better I feel.

Jealousy is ugly I know but I've never been one to repress my feelings.

As far as is he a good father.

Not actually. He's barely been around until recently. And he's willing to ditch them just because he doesn't want to deal with me. It absolutely is him running away from a problem. And the fact that he would abandon his kids yet again is making me feel sick.

Why do I love him? Because we've been spending so much time together and I enjoy it. I wanted the whole intact family thing, kinda a dream of mine. One that's been broken. Also he does make confusing comments at times that makes me think I still have a chance but then he will turn around the next day and kill all my hope. But I wont get into that too much.

Over all I know he's not the best guy around, but I can't help loving him.

But I guess the selfish part is that I wish he were gone. If he was out of my life completely I know I could get over him at least while he's gone.

So is it selfish of me to ask him to disappear?

A man in my life, being a lousy father, would sap any love I had for him....very quickly.

The bottom line is: You two are parents to these kids. You both have rights to these kids, unless the courts prove otherwise.

This is when you need to step ABOVE yourself and really think about choices affecting your kids. What he does it out of your control...HOW you react IS.

Any body(man or woman) who would abandone their children are/is an ASSHOLE!

And you already have an asshole-you sit on it! You don't need another one. What a POS!

This kinda got my dander up! I'm one of those mama grizzlies Sara P. talks about.

When people show you who they are- BELIEVE THEM!

Sending you support!

You are both assholes.
What man would abandon his kids what mother would love a man that abandons her kids?