My husband of 20 years and I have just started the negotiation part of our divorce. Neither of us has filed but we've both sought initial counsel. The attorney I chose told me I would receive a significant amount monthly for spousal support due to the length of the marriage and the lawyer he saw said not even close. Already we are at opposite sides of the fence.

I'm in no rush to get divorced and I don't want it, but I think he is. So do I hold out for what my attorney said I deserve or will it hurt me in the long run if I don't try some sort of compromise. Will a mediator or judge force me to settle for less if I dig in?

The fact is, anything less than what my attorney suggested and I won't be able to live in the same comfort zone as I had when we were married, but he will be living even better. I have two kids in college and I will be supporting them also. Even though they are above the "legal" age for support, someone has to support them for the next 5 years and that will be me. If I settle for less than what I deserve (according to my attorney) I won't be able to make it financially.

I have given 23 years to this man. I have no 401K, no pension, no savings, nothing. I know I'm entitled to half of his, but that won't be enough when I'm 70. I need to secure my future.

I'm not trying to screw him out of his money, I just want what they say I deserve for giving up my career to be a mother and wife.

Does anyone have any advice for me. Someone who's been through this stage. Thanks in advance.