Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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SadNLonly 07/12/2016

Its been quite some time since i was on here reading every post on how to get over a breakup....

Have you ever felt deep in your heart that one person was put on this earth to be your partner? I felt that way with a bf that was around for 3 years.

We broke up technically over our 30 min commute and kids and sports and just too much goings on. I never got over the fact that i felt he was it. Just knew that

this man was mine and we were going to be together. Well.....After a year of therapy and depression/anxiety meds that feeling still didnt go away.

Saturday at 2 am he texted me. This is 3 years after our breakup. Well of course he was drinking and I guess reminiscing about us. I kept it very low key because I

just knew i was a drunk text. Well, he continued to text through the day on Saturday, called in fact, then texted on Sunday. I still love this man, but cant

just jump in, and honestly i think he just broke up with someone and has his feelers out there if im still interested. Let me tell ya.....Because i stalked her on

FB.... I could never hold a hard feelling for my ex because this girl has a 10 yo diabetic with dog, 8 yo down syndrome child with dog, and her husband died in the

hospital stay of their 2nd child. Bless her heart. She deserves the best of a man. That is my ex. He is the most generous, loving man ever.

Thoughts on how to act, what to do? I dont want to scare him away, but i dont really want to see him either. in the past 9 months i gained 40 lbs and we cant

figure out why. I dont want him to see me and be like ugh you are not the woman i loved.

HELP.

mirandac 07/12/2016

Personally i would leave the past in the past
And try to move forward. I struggle too so i
know Its easier said than done. Try to keep
The focus on yourself and your healing and
Growing. HUGS

movingon2016 07/12/2016

So why did they break up? Did he break up with her or did she break up with him. If she broke up with him I would just be friends. If he is using you as the rebound girl...is that what you want? You can be friends (maybe) but you don't want to be the rebound if he is just scared to be alone. You deserve more than that.

ClearDay1 07/12/2016

Sounds to me like he's using you.

I would never want to be used, so my advice to you is to tell him you don't appreciate being contacted to use as a sounding board/ shoulder to cry on after the upheaval in your life post break up with him and hopefully now he knows how it feels.

But that's just me.

ClearDay1 07/12/2016

However, rereading your post, it appears you want him back? And all that's stopping you is your weight?

Well, this is not something I can comment on because if someone truly loved me it wouldn't be about my weight. But again that's just me. I just don't have the time or inclination for that kind of "love" anymore

lonelywolf79 07/12/2016

ok. personally I wouldn't be a second choice for anyone. Just because he is lonely. That is a big no no for me... HAving said that I have to tell you. You will kick yourself if you shut him out because obviously you are still obsessed with this man and haven't gotten over him. So you owe it to yourself to let him in and see what happens. The big BIG problem with this is that you set yourself up to another few years of therapy and heartbreak.
My advice is the same as Miranda.. Leave the past in the past 100% BUT reading how you feel I am guessing you won't take our advice so my second advice is: Be careful and understand what you are setting yourself up for. Think of the worst case scenario and see if it is worth it.... Then go with what your HEAD not heart tells you.
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you won't get burned again.

ChiTownBear 07/12/2016

It sounds like you already know what you are going to do. I would say not to do it, cus if he is calling you cus of a breakup and he is licking his wounds, then he isnt really coming back to you because he wants to. If this breakup didn't happen, he would not be calling you. I am sure you are going to see him soon, regardless of the weight gain, (which seems to bother you), but you asked for advice and mine is to not go. text, talk to him, but until its been some time, I wouldnt go there.

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