Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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dougx80 07/26/2018

My wife is a foreign woman whom I have been dating with for three years before we decided to get married. We have been trying our best to produce a child after our marriage. After one year of trying, we failed. I told my wife we should have a check up to finally know if one of us is infertile. However, she seemed unfavorable with my idea. Now, she’s thinking of divorce as the only solution and I’m freaking out. She said that if one of us is really infertile, then there’s no sense of being tied up, which in fact I don’t understand. I mean, we should try to work this out, right? It’s for better or for worse. What should I do now?

Ms.901996C 07/26/2018

The trouble with this is that you can't "force" someone to stay in your life.
Are you sure she's not finding the infertility as an excuse not to be with you anymore because it's kinda rare that anyone should take an "all or nothing" attitude.
Perhaps she's just acting out of sadness or anger? I know I wouldn't want to tie my other half down if I was infertile but deep down I'd want nothing more than to hear him say "I don't care. I'd rather have you than nothing" or "there's always a solution....let's adopt".

Osheana 07/26/2018

Yes I agree with Ms901996C fully. That is really odd- maybe in her culture
its open shut case thing like that. People have different views,perspectives-
maybe it is a blessing in disguise- dont force it-

But I mean you should find out if someone is infertile- kinda jumping the gun
a little and you dont even know if it is an infertility issue?Wow I wish you luck
If it is really love- yeah you work it out you dont really just say divorce-give
her a little time though-

dougx80 07/27/2018

@Ms.901996C, I was thinking that she's just not thinking clearly. she has been off lately and maybe this just a product of her depression. Regardless of her being infertile, I wouldn't want any divorce. I love her and you are right that there is always a solution to this. However, I can't seem to convince her.

dougx80 07/27/2018

@Osheana, I am trying to give her time to think it over because I do not want what she wants. I am hoping that everything will be alright soon.

dougx80 07/27/2018

Thank you very much to you both for giving me advice. I'm no feeling a little relaxed and I think I'm getting things cleared in my mind. I may have to deal with whatever happens next.

JoannaJosephhine 07/27/2018

I dont think that divorce is the answer to your problems because you do not know which of you is the infertile one so even if you leave each other there is not a 100% chance that you'll be able to have kids with someone else plus i understand the need to have kids but children are not the basic root of a marriage; its about love, trust and commitment so my advice is that you speak with your doctor and if it is that you are infertile then i suggest you pray and ask god to make you be fertile if you really wanna have children but if she's infertile then you can either give her the advice i gave you or you can go the extra mile and consider surrogacy or adoption.

Hope1004 07/28/2018

It could also be that one of you is "infertile" but could be fixed by a simple lifestyle or diet change. My aunt and uncle tried for years unsuccessfully to have children when he had a job sitting all the time. His swimmers weren't "mobile" enough. He had a job were he was always standing or running around, and she got pregnant within months.

Someone else I knew couldn't get pregnant. They found out her thyroid was the issue, she's taking meds and on a gluten free diet now. Which upped her chances considerably.

Wait until she is ready. Maybe she is blaming herself and wants a divorce to "free" you. Then bring it up again.

StayStrong23 07/28/2018

I am sorry you are going through this. Have you considered talking to a counselor about your situation? Someone like that might be able to help and your wife during this tough time.

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