Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, all...
I've been posting here a bit, but thought that it might be helpful to tell my story.
I was with my wife for sixteen years before we split up in June of this year. Because of gay marriage laws, we didn't officially marry until June of 2014m which was the happiest time of my life. I wept for joy that we were finally able to have a legal commitment to each other. We'd gotten a domestic union when that was available in our state, but this felt...different. It felt real.
Mrs. Introvert has a Master's degree in Business from what was then the best Business school in the nation. She was unhappy working for other people, so I encouraged her to start her own business. I supported both of us during the time it took for her business to take off.
After a period of a few years, we both agreed that I should quit my healthcare job and run errands for her work and tend to my mom, who is circling the drain with COPD. I also assisted with Mrs. Introvert's folks when they needed help, including driving down to Chicago every week to care for her dad when he was dying from prostate cancer. Her dad and I really grew close during that time.
Mrs. Introvert began working longer and longer hours...coming home late from the office, eating dinner, then going upstairs to her home office and working some more. Additionally, she was away on business out of the state literally half the time. I missed her and she crafted a business plan in which she could downsize staff and time and spend more time at home...but she never implemented it.
We grew apart. I tired of nagging her to spend time with me and spent time doing other things. Still, I didn't consider the relationship "bad". Now I know better.
I had a nasty bike accident and broke my shoulder last May. In early June, Mrs. Introvert told me she was unhappy. Not only was she unhappy, she was "done". Four days before my birthday.
Since I have friends and Mrs. Introvert does not, I moved in with my best friend and her wife. For the first four weeks, I thought I would lose my freaking mind, I was hurting so badly, both physically and emotionally.
To top things off, our elderly cat began to fail when I left the house. I took her to the vet repeatedly (Mrs. Intro was out of town all the time). The cat had pancreatitis and none of the medications and other things I did helped her situation. I hired a vet to come to our old house and put the cat down. A summer of nothing but loss.
My arm is mended enough that I am now looking for work. My spouse and I are going for a collaborative divorce, because I don't have it in me to fight.
I am still living with my friends. Spouse and I have a recreational property to sell in order to supply me with $ for a home for me. The settlement will afford me the money to do so.
Sometimes I still marvel at how I got to this place. I have to say, I don't know how people bounce back from this and go on to marry again.
I've been posting here a bit, but thought that it might be helpful to tell my story.
I was with my wife for sixteen years before we split up in June of this year. Because of gay marriage laws, we didn't officially marry until June of 2014m which was the happiest time of my life. I wept for joy that we were finally able to have a legal commitment to each other. We'd gotten a domestic union when that was available in our state, but this felt...different. It felt real.
Mrs. Introvert has a Master's degree in Business from what was then the best Business school in the nation. She was unhappy working for other people, so I encouraged her to start her own business. I supported both of us during the time it took for her business to take off.
After a period of a few years, we both agreed that I should quit my healthcare job and run errands for her work and tend to my mom, who is circling the drain with COPD. I also assisted with Mrs. Introvert's folks when they needed help, including driving down to Chicago every week to care for her dad when he was dying from prostate cancer. Her dad and I really grew close during that time.
Mrs. Introvert began working longer and longer hours...coming home late from the office, eating dinner, then going upstairs to her home office and working some more. Additionally, she was away on business out of the state literally half the time. I missed her and she crafted a business plan in which she could downsize staff and time and spend more time at home...but she never implemented it.
We grew apart. I tired of nagging her to spend time with me and spent time doing other things. Still, I didn't consider the relationship "bad". Now I know better.
I had a nasty bike accident and broke my shoulder last May. In early June, Mrs. Introvert told me she was unhappy. Not only was she unhappy, she was "done". Four days before my birthday.
Since I have friends and Mrs. Introvert does not, I moved in with my best friend and her wife. For the first four weeks, I thought I would lose my freaking mind, I was hurting so badly, both physically and emotionally.
To top things off, our elderly cat began to fail when I left the house. I took her to the vet repeatedly (Mrs. Intro was out of town all the time). The cat had pancreatitis and none of the medications and other things I did helped her situation. I hired a vet to come to our old house and put the cat down. A summer of nothing but loss.
My arm is mended enough that I am now looking for work. My spouse and I are going for a collaborative divorce, because I don't have it in me to fight.
I am still living with my friends. Spouse and I have a recreational property to sell in order to supply me with $ for a home for me. The settlement will afford me the money to do so.
Sometimes I still marvel at how I got to this place. I have to say, I don't know how people bounce back from this and go on to marry again.
The gay marriage laws have been so fucked up. It really fucked up my life.
My sister and my friend are both going through lesbian divorces. They both say it is awful. I am not sure which is worse.
Getting divorced has got to be awful. I've never been through it, I was only widowed, but I know a lot of people whose lives have been devastated by their divorces.
I feel like at this point after being widowed I never want to marry again because I am so afraid of getting divorced. And I think that if that is your perspective that is totally okay, sometimes we have to protect ourselves and stay independent, you know?
I think being widowed is worse, because none of us would ever wish for the other partner to be deceased. I'm just so sorry, Andrea.
At least the former Mrs. Introvert is alive to pursue whatever her dreams are.
And yeah...I'm not into another marriage, because that may lead to another divorce and I am just not up for that again.
Once again, I am so sorry. I truly can't imagine the pain you went through.
I have a wonderful woman in my life....who believes in the same values I have regarding faith, loyalty and commitment
My trust has been restored and we do intend to marry in the future
Thanks to all of you for your kind replies.