Six weeks ago my partner of 17 years suddenly told me that she had had an affair, but that it was over. However, she said it made her realize that her feelings for me had changed and she was leaving. The scant details of the “affair” made no sense to me, nor did the fact that she didn’t want to try to work things out (we have an 11 year old son together). She finally admitted that the story she told me wasn’t true, but that she had done something awful and was a horrible person, but will not tell me what she did. The result was the same though: she moved out.

Aside from having a son together, we also work in the same office, so I am likely to see her nearly every day. I’ve accepted that we will never be together again, but I hate seeing her in turmoil. Still, I am faced with the mandate to talk only about things to do with our son. OK, I see the logic in that. But how am I supposed to move on when I have no idea what happened to destroy my life? By all accounts, we were quite happy just prior to the devasting blow. Now I’m challenged to not only not think about her, but to not try to figure out what she did. I am trying to focus on my son and myself, but am only partially successful. So many thoughts circle endlessly around in my mind. Anyone in a similar circumstance or simply have any insights to offer?