Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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In so much pain.

Jgarc
Jgarc
Here is the background to my dilemma,
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal/6564780


Even though we are finally divorced, each day i find out more and more lies that this person has said to me. Even after separating, he still wanted to see me. would ask him to please tell me if he is with someone else and he would look me in the eye, with tears in his eyes and tell me "How can I move on so quickly when ive been with you for so long". Later to find out not only did he start dating someone 2 months after him leaving...but he moved in with her.

Life is so unfair, why the heck is he allowed to be happy?!!! I dont get this ughh it just makes me so freaking angry. I have wasted 6 years of my life. My twentiesss! a time that should of been for exploring and learning different things and i have wasted it on nothing but a liar.

I think what hurts the most is that i obviously meant NOTHING to him because he moved on so quick. How can he fall in love so quickly? how can he take sucha big step with someone when with me it took so long???...ugh helpppp...
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
I'm sorry you're hurting. Please remember that people like this typically have problems within themselves; there's nothing you could have done to prevent this.

I know it may not feel like much comfort now, but consider yourself lucky you only lost 6 years with this guy and not 26 or 36 as some have experienced on this board.

You are still young and have a lot of life to live. Get out there, move forward, and begin healing.

Sending healing hugs!
tcl18
tcl18
It is really hard to move on even when you know its the right thing to do and the relationship was bad for you. Try not to look back and focus on the future and all the great things you can do now that you are free.
iamawarrior
iamawarrior
First, he's probably rebounding. ..NOT really in love. Six years with you and then with someone else after two months? Rebound. My brother got divorced after 6 years, and was re-married in a year - and that marriage broke up too, because he was just trying to avoid pain. Being single for a while means you are healthy, and immediately starting a new relationship doesn't mean you're happy.

Second, six years is a long time...have you thought about a counselor? I went to counseling for three years after my divorce. It helped immensely. You are suffering a major loss - don't be afraid to get all the help you can! You'll get through this. Hugs.
panther99
panther99
I understand how you feel. It hurts SO much. I agree that you are lucky that you only lost 6 yrs and not more. What happened between you two and his behavior at the end was NOT healthy in the least. I would consider this a gift and get into counseling so you can try and prevent getting involved with someone like this again.
Two months is not long enough and yes, he is not dealing with anything ..just jumping from one thing to another. Try not to worry about him..just do what you need to do to care for yourself and heal. It does hurt when you feel you've been replaced so fast, but I think that just goes to show the emotional health of the person you were with. A man that truly feels for a woman and is emotionally healthy won't relationship hop.

Hugs!
timbob463
timbob463
I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I can assure you of one thing though, his moving on to a new relationship so quickly after yours ended is not a sign that he has done anything but run from the problems that he has. He has and will lie to her, just as much, if not more, than he has lied to you. This "new " relationship will not develop into anything better than what you had with him, and most likely will end up being worse. Unfortunately, you won't ever see it, because he will never admit to anything wrong. Keep you head up, pray, trust in God to heal you and see you through, and it will all work out. I promise.
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
Honey, be gentle with yourself. You are bewildered and hurt. It will be rough, but you will be fine. He cheated not you. If they can do it with you, they can do it to you. They have nothing. No respect, honour or trust. You have everything. There is not a thing you could have done to stop him. Believe me, I tried for 25 years. Nothing I did, made him happy. Walking on eggshell and being afraid of your own shadow is just unbearable. I was the one that finally told him enough was enough. You got a precious gift. The chance to live life the way you want to. You are young, my daughter's age. Please sit back and look at what you really want to do and go for it. There is a bright future ahead of you. As for dating and what other people think about you. Forget it. First their opinions do not count and never should, second dating can be put on a back burner until you are comfortable with being alone. I love my me time and I will never give it up for anyone ever again. Hugs from across the miles
Jgarc
Jgarc
Thank you everyone for all your replies. It is just painful. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me, why did he leave me, was i not good enough?
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