Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I don't know where to start. So... I'm 22 years old with a fiancé and a 1 year old daughter. Everything was perfect until one of my close friends came into the picture in the weirdest way. About 2 weeks ago the worst thing happened to me smh I was on the phone with my bestfriend and my phone died so I told my fiancé to call her on his. Well I began cleaning and when he called e decided to take it upon himself to have a conversation with her. I didn't think anything of it until as I was passing the bathroom I over heard him asking to see her body and if she could handle him bc he can go for hrs. Mind you I've been sexually molested for 8 years so for all this to happen just put me in a deeper hole. So I continued to clean, and when he got out he looked at my daughter and said he couldn't focus bc she was making too much noise! He rage and anger that I felt after he said that was out of this world! But I kept my calm and walked off. Long story short, he told me that he came to her feeling in her breasts! And it didn't hit me until a week later that my fiancé and bestfriend basically had sex but over the phone. So now I don't know how to feel or what to do bc we have a family and now bc of this I can't go back to normal. I feel as if my getting really distant with him and I don't see any point on trying anymore. What should I do? Any advice? Thanks in advance!
This is the way of things. If you allow this you will allow 100 more instances of it. Your self esteem will only go down. Your anger will only build. And your child will be raised in this contorted environment without knowing the facts and will think daddy is marvellous and that you have mental problems
Just get out 2hile it is still clear and relatively straightforward and before the damage.
@mixed is looking for advice, so obviously she is one of those who can indeed do the right thing, as she's doing right now by asking us what we think. She's obviously confused, most of us are in our own current situations, and I think most would certainly be very confused in her case. I know I would be.
But if she were the kind of woman who can never take control of her life, she wouldn't even bother asking for advice, she'd just complain, as you say. It does not seem to me that she's just venting, she's actively asking for advice, so let's try and give it. Maybe you were doing so by giving her reverse psychology? ;-)
Of course the solution is obvious to us, but we're not the ones living through it.
Yet, @mixed, everyone here is almost certainly right: chances are you should leave, it will be the best for you and your daughter. You're 22! You probably haven't even lived the first quarter of your life yet!
Think that by the time your daughter goes to college you probably won't even be forty!
You are living through a difficult time right now, which prevents you from seeing the bigger picture, but it truly is as clear as everyone here is telling you: just leave, it will be best. No man has a right to do a tenth of what he's done to you already. Don't let your daughter grow up near him, she deserves better, and both of you can find better.
Of course...We on the outside say LEAVE...
But is that what you want? Is that what you want for you and your daughter? Probably not.
I haven't been where you are as far as your relationship. Well...That's not exactly true...I have been there...And it sucks...The thing is as much as it sucks, I didn't and even now don't want to leave... I want to FIX it!
You need to have a conversation with you, yourself, and Yourself... that is your head, your heart, and your soul...And then decide what YOU want to do...And then do it!
It won't be easy...Your head and your heart will definitely be at odds...You will probably cry a lot and at other times you will get really really angry...But you got to WORK through it before you can make a final decision.
Good luck...
And I am pretty sure we are all here for you if you need to come back and vent!!!
They really don't go anywhere if left untreated And you
might have found a bad/unhealthy partner because of
All that too.
Emotional manipulators and Predators look for people
that don't feel good enough about themselves and will
take their stuff, You now have a daughter to protect and
to bring up. I am sorry for all your pain and hurt, HUGS
You and for your daughter. Baby steps, HUGS