Call her back. Your don't have to divorce everyone. If the relationship she shared with you, was that good and important don't let it go by the waste side. You stated she didn't text you back when you contacted her, that's fine. Maybe, she was going through something knowing her son and you weren't going to be together. Divorces are hard on everyone, especially when you build strong bonds with other people in the family. Don't hold that over her head, maybe once you all talk you will get a chance to hear her reason for not responding.

I live very close to future ex father in law , he is very civil ,
But... I have never mistreated his daughter, she has cheated on me and he knows it (not by me), I am a good father to his grand children and I have been good to him,
Just one time I'd like him to say something along the lines of " I feel for you" or "sucks to be you"
Zero , zilch , fffffffing nada!
I have no respect for him

Broke, that's interesting I have some men tell their son-in-laws that. But hey that's still his daughter, and to say that may be bad mouthing her...out loud.

My ex MIL stayed out of it while the divorce went down. While we were married, she was extremely dramatic, gossipy, would "joke" about how girls flirted with my X...but surely didn't own up to all her mouth running when the woman she really liked to pick at me about was, in fact, doing my ex.

Since my divorce, I was more than happy to drop our relationship from the "obligatory daughter in law" role to that as the mother of her grandson. When my son and I go to NY to visit, I make sure she knows and allow her access to him at all times.

She's a tricky one, that old broad. She was more than willing to help my ex hide his remarriage from me and my son...but then, when she found out from my ex that my dog just passed, she text me her condolences and told me she "missed me and always thought I was a great Mom and pet owner".

The thing is, one of the collateral damage pieces to divorce is that people take sides. For whatever reason, they do. Sometimes, family sticks with family. I, not being the cheating one, lost all of our "mutual" friends...which wasn't much of a loss, but I still did. Sometimes, people set boundaries...draw definitive lines that say..."ok, this role is no longer yours...therefore, I will respond this way."

Yo ucould text her back something like, "Thanks for the kind words" or not text her at all. This one is really up to you...just do what your gut says.

I loved my soon to be ex mother in law. Very much. But I let her go bc I know that she is HIS first and that I don't want her to have to choose between me and her own child. That's her son. Even if he was a bad husband, he is still her son. I have two boys, so I understand a moms love for her children. There is no comparison, no replacement on this earth. Even when they embarrass and shame you as parents, you love them. You don't condone thier behavior, you don't excuse or reward that behavior, but your love for that child is no less. So, even though it hurt, and she probably doesn't understand why I did it, I let go. I didn't even say goodbye. I think it's a personal decision only you can make. :) best wishes

I did the same as blondie...I have not said "good bye" at all and neither has she, but then again we have not seen each other since a few months before August 2013 when I filed the divorce papers and they were served on her son in her own home (he went to live with his parents when he moved out). Who knows...maybe we'll see each other somewhere down the road, and I'll have to deal with it then. But, as TTMI and blondie have stated, it is really only a personal decision you can make....so, go with what your gut is telling you. Peace and Hugs to you my friend!

I talk to my ex-father-in-law occasionally. He was a good friend and was a father to me. Also sometimes her other relatives. But its not the same.

In the end they need to support their relative, that is your ex, more so than being friends with you.

Just be careful and don't get too attached, I'd say.

My ex decided to reach out to my family on her own. She called my uncle, cousins, friends, etc and badmouthed me. All while I was on deployment. When I return to NYC I knew already that she and I were getting a divorce, but so many people came and told me what she had said.
As much as I loved her family and children I would not want to get my life intertwined with hers at all by communicating with them.

I agree that they are his family and should support him. He needs their support. I would never do anything to change that and I have stepped out of the picture. I would have liked his mother to acknowledge my text and tell me goodbye, but I couldn't control that. I haven't returned her call and do not plan on it. I do feel disappointed that all of the hype about how much they would all love me forever was just that, hype. It is sad all the way around. I did a lot for them for very little in return, but I am no victim. Everything I gave was by choice. Being a giving person is one of my best qualities. I added the brush off they gave me to my list of heartaches I need to heal. I have plenty of work to do in that area.

I think you should reach out - but if it's a set back for you as far as healing - reach out but let her know that you will be taking a short break for now while you are working on yourself, if she cares about you, she'll understand. Once you are at a strong place you can then reengage. I think you are on a strong place based on your overall energy - if you are and you think being in touch w/her can throw you off - keep the interaction to a minimum for now. It must be hard for you, sounds like she was like a mother figure to you. Hope it all works out.

I'd take a brutal approach. If it quacks like a duck...
My in laws send me a soapy " You'll always be our daughter" crap, after their gorgeous boy was trying to strangle the crap out of me. Now I think it was only to pacify things, as I've never heard from them since. I do miss them, but...seriously? How could you- as well- dump me like that? Tough. Everybody sticks to their own and you're always gonna be a baddie.
Oh well, it's worth the freedom in the end.

My ex mother in law went so far as to divorce me and our young son as soon as my husband and I separated. She didn't send cards or gifts to the boy, her grandson. A card would have made him feel he wasn't forgotten.

When I was married my husband, our son and I went every other weekend to the MIL home and I would work there digging up tree stumps for her, painting the front of her place and we took her everywhere she wanted to go because she didn't drive and my husband had a bad back. And we always drove my car to get there, so it was wear and tear on my car and she lived in another state.

Considering that my ex is now on his 5th marriage, my ex mother in law went through a lot of ex-wives that she had to "divorce" and I don't believe she is even living now. But I hope that's one regret she lived with because you can't tell a young boy you love him then his dad and his grandmother both dump him because his mom filed for divorce.