The loyalty was with my ex.

I found this to be true with my first husband. It was my fault because of course, her son was perfect.

STBX parents are both dead and he only has a brother and sister-in-law but I got the distinct impression that SIL, while not totally happy with what he's done is supporting him nevertheless and has become Facebook friends with the whore my husband is...whoring with. I think that hurt worse, the sense of betrayal was so overwhelming. It made me feel as though I became a nothing and a nobody overnight, that my place in this marital family was quickly usurped by someone STBX hasn't seen in 25 years. Pretty hurtful.

The ones who lived in our area told me that they still wanted to be friends with me because we were more than just in-laws. Once my ex let them know about "her" though, I pretty much shut that door. Not because of anything against them or her or him. Just that I wanted a total wall between him and myself. We didnt and dont really have any friends or activities in common and I wanted to keep it that way.

They adore me.

Even after we split, I was STILL the one that brought the kids to see them...Christmas, Easter, thanksgiving. After 7 years, I'm STILL the reminder "call your grandma, it's her birthday"

I bowed out of attending my FIL's birthday party to prevent awkwardness as my wasbands GF hates me. (I ran off at the mouth years ago, she JUST got the info 6 months ago....thought it was recent.....blah) I don't care for her, but holding a grunge/animosity towards her just makes me a bitter person and really, why would I poison MY life with negativity?

I chat often with his cousins, aunts and uncles but never about him. They are all concerned that I don't date and encourage me to bring "new men" to meet them.

Well, I was relieved that I no longer had to do all the phone calling, updating, etc, since my ex was never and is not family oriented.

When my son and I go to NY to visit family, both of his sides are there, so I let them know I'm in town, then they can call or whatever to see him. I will leave that door open as they are his grandparents.

When my X is in town, then he handles his side.

I quite enjoyed being able to take out the daughter-in-law part and only having to deal with "business" now. The women in my ex's family are catty troublemakers, so I didn't feel a loss or anything when I got divorced. Just relief.

After 26 years it was made known to me I never existed and my family was a POS. My MIL is very uncomfortable around me, as she should be after the crap she said. I've always been polite, I treat and treated her a whole lot better than either of her sons. But alas, they are her sons and I am wrong in everything I've ever do or will ever do. I don't need that kind of drama. Glad to be out of it.

at first ex-MIL was friendly, but a few months later, I learned she was badmouthing me behind my back. We've been divorce for three years, and I have only talked to her once in two years. She showed up at my mom's funeral (a few months ago), which was awkward, but i was ok with it, I tend to not hold on to bad feelings especially at times like this. It's what my mom would have wanted. At the funeral, she was friendly, we talked a bit (about the kids) and before she walked away, she apologized for my ex, she didn't say why she was apologizing, I didn't ask, I just politely smiled.

as for my ex-FIL, he is divorced my ex-MIL, around the time my oldest was born (he left her for another woman). After the divorce (me and ex), not once did ex-FIL reach out to me. I used to work with him (a few years), he is the one the introduced me and my ex (set us up on a blind-date). He also has since passed away. I thought about sending flowers or a card to his funeral, but couldn't bring myself to do it (mostly for fear of the drama that would potentially result from it-me and my ex do not get along). Instead I talked to my kids positively about him, showed them pictures of Tinker Grandpa.

I get along really well with them. I still chat with my sister-in-law on occasion and see the MIL and FIL at the kids school events (concerts and such). We usually all sit together or very near each other. I refuse to let our divorce destroy the relationships I've built with them over the years.

His whole family is on my side. His Grandma got mad and told me to strip him of everything he's got if he wants to pursue his relationship with his mistress. They are all supportive during this whole ordeal