It's best not to keep track on what the ex is up to. If you really want to heal you need to block everything and not check his Facebook or other social media. What he does anymore just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters now is YOU. Any contact direct or indirect will only hurt you further and keep you stuck.

My stbx invited me & kids for dinner at his new place. I wasn't surprised but still very hurt to see presents from her on display. She did leave her husband after thanksgiving and I know they have been in contact. In fact for over a year now, but still very hurtful.

Know that anger and hate only hurt you....might want to find discussion on breakup affirmations. I made copies so that I can read them when I feel a breakdown coming on. Hugs to you

I do know how you feel my stbx went to see is girlfriend over thanksgiving week 2 weeks after he said he was done. But I do agree with kbbcoop77. Block him off from social media and block him from yours. It killed me when my stbx unfriended me from Facebook account but in hindsight it was the greatest thing that happened. I don't have to see what he is doing or what they are doing. I feel better not know what he is doing i don't care. I have to concentrate on taking care of our kids and getting better.

Take care. Sending hugs your way.

we have a son and have to have contact and live in a really small community. It is hard not to know what he is doing, we even work in the same industry. I've been crying all day/ My dad fooled around on my mom when we were kids and we found out. I just don't want my son to know about his father, but the more they continue the likelier that seems. I was doing so well, I feel like I am back at square one. Maybe its just the finality of it - realization that it is really truly over?

loosingthebattle - where do I get those break up affirmations?

"How do I get past this". Easy...stop keeping track of what he is doing!
Even though you have kids together doesn't mean you need to know his personal business...keep communication strictly about the kids.
I too work in the same industry/same company as my ex....there is absolutely no issue with me having zero communication about his personal life. And if people in your small town want to run and gossip to you about his life, just tell them that you two are no longer tied to each other and you have no interest in knowing what he is doing.

Shift your focus to you and your children and quit obsessing over him and his girlfriend. Don't mean to sound so harsh...but you are in complete control of how you feel/react! I can totally relate...I have been in your shoes.

Hugs to you...and I hope you find the strength to move forward.

it is very hard in a town of 1200 not to hear what's going. You cannot get away from it. I know no contact would be best, but that is very difficult in my case. I know I need to move on, but right now the feelings of wasting the last 20 years of my life are overwhelming - that's how I feel with him moving on so fast. I'm just all over the map emotionally right now. You are all right, just very hard to do.

Put "breakup affirmations" in the search bar above. They were posted earlier this month by sarasalt in this group as a discussion.