Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi there,
My wife of 5 years decided she wanted to split 3 days ago. And to be honest, I was at that point also.
Thing is, were great friends, love to watch movies together, sports...goof around but were just not IN love anymore. When the split happend, she told me she has been talking to another guy...and found out that he cared for her deeply. We'll that really bothers me for one, how quickly i was replaced.
Anyway, We decided we would try to live together, for financial reasons. I am not sure wtf to do because this is eating me up, for example last night she has on some, "new love" songs..and shes so happy..yet im god damn miserable and its killing me.
She has no were to go if i were keep the aprtment, she does not make enough money to keep the apartment by herself also...at this point, should i even care? She could go back to her province and live with her parents, but even tho were split...and shes already seeing another guy, IM STILL LOOKING OUT FOR HER..wtf is wrong with me? Def could use some advice.
My wife of 5 years decided she wanted to split 3 days ago. And to be honest, I was at that point also.
Thing is, were great friends, love to watch movies together, sports...goof around but were just not IN love anymore. When the split happend, she told me she has been talking to another guy...and found out that he cared for her deeply. We'll that really bothers me for one, how quickly i was replaced.
Anyway, We decided we would try to live together, for financial reasons. I am not sure wtf to do because this is eating me up, for example last night she has on some, "new love" songs..and shes so happy..yet im god damn miserable and its killing me.
She has no were to go if i were keep the aprtment, she does not make enough money to keep the apartment by herself also...at this point, should i even care? She could go back to her province and live with her parents, but even tho were split...and shes already seeing another guy, IM STILL LOOKING OUT FOR HER..wtf is wrong with me? Def could use some advice.
Someone's gotta go, or this process is going to take you into your 60's
but somehow she gets to stay with you and live off of you and...
what do you get out of it?
If she's so in love with this guy... let Him take care of her.
She's getting her cake and eating it too... it is totally taking advantage of you and you do NOT have to put up with it.
Tell her she has two weeks or whatever, to get out. Say that you don't want to fight or whatever but that you cannot continue to support her financially as long as she is having another relationship.
Talk to her, tell her that it won't work with her living there and seeing another man. Be open and honest with her, tell her you love her and want to work on it, but the other guy has to go. Tough love.... what do you have to lose at this point, you might just get her back if you try. Nothing ventured... you finish it
See, She dosnt see what she did as an affair..because it was not sexual. Which i think is total horseshit. I want to be able to move on but i dont think i can with her around me.
Thank you every, and RMS..your post really put all of this in order.
Thanks,
-Wes
I have tried to help my ex out a lot since she left, paying bills, lending cash, a 'shoulder to cry on' etc.
It's hard to make the break, i tried a lot to keep things that way as i held out a lot of hope that we might get back together one day.
Don't forget who you are though, or what you need. I put all my eggs in that one particular basket for a long time but i can't do it any longer.
I hope you find a balance to all this. There is nothing wrong with caring, but you have to put yourself first.
Good luck.
Can I get an Amen?
She is using you and it is so hurtful. You need to talk to her and tell her that either she ends it with the guy and commits to the marriage and definitely couples counseling, or you will put her out the door.
She's an adult, not a child. She make an adult decision, let her live with it.
And yeah, boy can she pick 'em. Sheesh!