Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I want to say hello to the community. I'm here as a kind of last resort. I don't really have a support system. Nor family and friends. 4 days ago my gf of many years ended the relationship. This was a total shock as we get along exceptionally well, share many common interests and have a wonderful time together. Neither of use drink alcohol or use illegal drugs. There is no infidelity, nor lies, or theft, or anything going on that is abnormal. She has simply stated that she wants to travel, and wants to do it alone. She said that she has been daydreaming about traveling alone and decided that such was more important to her than our relationship, home, or careers (she's leaving medical school to do this). The initial shock is still radiating through my body even 4 days later and the tears seem to have no end. I honestly feel pathetic. A broken man trying to understand how to begin to pick up the pieces. Being that we are stuck together in this house for the next month isn't going to make this any easier. Oddly i don't feel anger towards her. Only towards myself. Thats the only thing besides hopelessness that i feel. I, also a med student, do not have any desire left to continue on with my career or education. I can barely continue attempting to support my biological functions with food and water. So please, as one desperate human being reaching out of the abyss, please someone take my hand, tell me im not alone.
Look around you. You are not alone. Not even close.
Kudos for posting and reaching out instead of burying or medicating your feelings.
I'm not going to tell you anything you don't know, but obviously your best (and really only) course of action is let her go.
The good news is if she goes out to search herself and she comes back, you'll know it's the real thing.
If she doesn't, you will have saved yourself years of misery in a potentially bad marriage that would be more of an upset down the line.
I know it feels miserable and I have to believe there's a purpose for it even if we're not aware of it at the time.
Her leaving isn't because you're not good enough. It sounds like she is having a personal crisis. I don't think she'd stay even if you were perfectly handsome, rich, successful, and charming.
I'll be honest today will suck for you. Tomorrow will too. Over time you will get better. One day this will be well in the past. Invest in your future.
I suggest you put all your energy into med school. It won't make you feel any better today but at the end of it you'll be a doctor. It's better to be a sad doctor than a sad dropout. :)
I did that in the 1990's. I put all my energy into my career. Over time i built a nice career in IT. Those years sucked for me but these years are much better because of it.