Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

im lost...

steviejay1515
steviejay1515

my girlfriend and i broke up two days ago she was very mentaily abuseve and always put me down saying i wasnt good enough never mount to anything. i caught her cheating on me two times in the beginning of  our relationship and like a fool i took her back both times thinking she was just young and confused and she swore to me she would never do it again and it was a mistake she messed up i believe people can change so i took her back and life felt like it was on the right track again. so two days ago she just says stop calling me its over im annoying her etc.. me am at a loss for words sinve it was sudden here i come to find out she was sleeping and staying at another mans house. my heart was shattered she was my love my best friend so at least i was the only one who was in love. now she is tellig everyone in our small town she walked in on me with another women (which of course is a lie) and i found out she is on tinder hanging out with different guys. i know i sound like pathetic loser but i loved her and thought her cheating was because of me... and now i blocked her from every soical media to maybe move on but now she keeps calling me from a blocked number and i am terrified she will show up again asking fr forgivnes and i will be honest i would take her back because i miss her so much. why cant i move on nd find someone who will respect me and love me like i love them? please if anyone can help me i would be so greatful i am a good guy witha good heart and soul and i was told im co dependent on her what do i do? thank you fir your time and reading my story and hopfully somone can help me get my head around this and im not the home crying while she is out having the time of her life..

beanjr
beanjr
it's a hard feeling when you love some one so much you wanna try to make it work. but maybe she knows u will have no matter what she does to you. remember your self worth no one needs to walked over or settle for less. just remember how she Hurt you all those times when u think you wanna take her back. it's not worth the head ache and pain she puts you thru. find a woman who wants only you and treats you that way. they are out there.
steviejay1515
steviejay1515
Thank you for responding and deep down i know that but forb so long she made me believe myself worth is nothing im a happy funny out going guy and i havent been him in so long i dont know why i cant just do what you said find someone else i pretty much a dumbass right.. like who cant see that and just move on... why do i still want her and get treated like that i never ever would or hve cheated so why do i take it? im sorry i sound weak and like a hopless man but thats what i think i am worth...
beanjr
beanjr
no you're not a dumb ass. you feel for her deeply nothing wrong with that. my wife wants to separate I'm moving out on the first. all my fault I emotionally abused her. I never thought I was doing wrong I now see how I hurt her and put her down I broke her spirit. it's sad I did that to her. years ago she wanted me to get help I said she was crazy I was find we fought and argue. I wouldn't face facts because a few days later I know she would be fine untill I did it again. her now finding self worth and not putting green up with it no more she is happy with herself and I am gettino help to fight my problems. I hope she takes me back but I don't expect her to. moral of my stories is until late she faces the fact she is a abuser she will not change it will be the same thing again. now I don't know you but I'm sure your happiness is with more than being depressed and unhappy
mirandac
mirandac
Well for a start i would go to a therapist to help
Guide you and help you build yourself backup.

Let yourself grieve your losses and Go to breakup
groups, support groups, church anything positive
And healing.

Many people do lots of exercise and sports to burn
Some of the stress off and tire themselves out.

Keep reaching out to loving Caring supportive
people. This is not something to do alone, i would
heal yourself before dating again. HUGS
TheOddAlien
TheOddAlien
It's quite obvious that you still love her, but you deserve so much better. You deserve someone that will treat you with love and respect. A good heart and a good soul are very valuable. You are worth so much and don't settle.
patsal1
patsal1
You know it and you've said it.. you're only torturing yourself trying to hang on to a broken and hurtful relationship. The hardest part is DETERMINING to BREAK FREE, and not allowing yourself to get tempted or lured in again.. whatever she says. Quit being played like a yo-yo. If you tell yourself you desperately need/want Her or a relationship, you cannot go forward in continually growing the quality man you want to be. Here is an article on When Loves Ends.. the different stages of grief http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2011/when-love-ends, and this other article is also dealing with breakups http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2011/breakup-blues. Boundless has some great articles and podcasts for singles -- very helpful! Godspeed.