Dating for 6 years is a huge red flag for me. I'd want a committment after all of that time. I don't have much advice to offer as I'm struggling getting past those feelings myself. I'm told that the only that will help is time. I always got past it by finding another guy right away which was really the wrong way to go about it. I'm now trying to keep busy so that I don't think about it very much.

Think about the qualities you really want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Things like being supportive or someone who wants marriage or someone who will stand by you through the tough times. Then honestly look at this guy and his characteristics. He may be funny or smart or whatever, but on the things you want, his actions don't match the picture, right? If he's breaking contact, falling in and out of love, etc. are those things you would want long term? I think it would help if you get a clear picture of what you want and then look at his actions and see where he matches and doesn't match what you want. That's probably a first step in letting go.

I'm thinking that maybe he's thinking it's not going anywhere, or he's seeing someone else.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this--I know how horrible it feels (6 months ago or so, my husband who I was with for 11 years--told me the same thing, in different words). It is such an awful, painful feeling to love someone so much who no longer loves you in return. I don't even have the words to describe it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. So if it helps, know that you are not alone in going through this. There are many of us on this site who have experienced this.

I don't think there is any way of making it not painful...but what I can say, is that with time the pain gets less intense, and healing takes place. I'm nowhere near in as much pain as I was in the beginning. Now it's more of a duill ache in the backround, rather than an intense pain that's always in the forefront. And I have hope that even the "dull ache" will dissipate with time. So hang in there.

For me, acceptance is part of the key to healing and moving on....accepting that he doesn't love me anymore, that the loving times between us are in the past--and there is nothing I can do to change that--I just need to let go and accept that reality, no matter how painful it is. The more I am able to accept the way things are, the more peaceful I can feel about it.

For now, focus on being good to yourself and taking care of yourself, and post on here for support whenever you need to!

Im new to this site and this is the same exact thing my husband of 13 years has recently told me..The worst part of it is that I have to live with him until I can find a job and afford to either keep our home or move out with my two kids...Im a stay home mom I dont work because one of my children got really sick and my husband and I decided it would be best If I stayed home and take care of our child..Im in such a bad position because im hurt, and humiliated. I told him how badly his confession hurt and he responded I needed to grow up and accept and get it over it. Talk about being brutal. Im just stuck at times I feel dead, in disbelief, i feel like its a joke, I dont know what to feel...Im definately heartbroken. but my biggest problem is moving forward and being strong enough to begin the healing process while putting my life together to be dependant enough to walk away..I dont wish this on anyone. Im mentally lost.

RosaJan I am the same... I have to live with my ex-husband of 7 years who also gave me the "I no longer love you" line... till I can figure out how to start a new life. It sucks. There is no word to describe the pain that we're all going through. AGONY is not strong enough.

it's hard to move on and still seeing each other. my ex boyfriend was offering the seeing each other as friend but I think it will just make thing complicate like I will still want him back. so I make up my mind to not seeing him or talk to him and move one. hardest thing for me is to even give up the friendship. I am really in pain but I think it will be better for us. if I still see him as friends I will have hard time to let go of him

I think immediately jumping to the "lets be friends" line is an easy way for THEM to feel better about breaking up, and it keeps YOU a safe distance away but not being crazy. If I'm her "friend" then I am not her enemy.

I think "friends" can be possible, but remember, friends are people you tell secrets to, discuss relationships, go to the movies, call up when you're having a bad day....would you be able to effectively do this with him, and not catch more feelings?

Maybe you can stay "friendly" toward him, but friends is probably not a good idea right now.

I agree with you ladies...but how can you be friends with someone who has really hurt you...a friend is a confidante someone you go to when you need advice or a shoulder to lean on..the friend thing is not a good idea, Im cordial to my ex when the kids are around but when is just he and I in the house I cant even look at him, I stay in my room or go somewhere in the house hes not at...Its difficult but I know is a test for me...And I pride myself in being indestructible, even if Im dying inside I refuse to let him see it. I showed him my feelings once and he mocked me! Never again. I'll just have to keep giving my Oscar performance until I walk out the door or he does. :( Hanging in there ...Thank you all those who gave me feedback, not that its okay others are going through this but knowing im not alone gives the feeling of normalcy...I dont feel like a crazy person with serious issues..