I feel exactly the same way. Some days I only get up because I know I have to take care of my son and get him to school. I'm numb or feel broken all the time. I keep telling myself time will make it better. And I'm not going to let my son down that isn't even a possibility. So maybe focus on your kiddo and hope like I am that time will heal.

Thanks I definitely agree and I can empathize with what your going through. I’ve done it before and I just need to try my best. In time I should heal and start to enjoy life again. I hope you can do the same as well.

Have you considered seeking professional help for your feelings of isolation and depression? You may be suffering from "situational depression", a conditional stemming from external stressers rather than brain chemistry.

Hopefully you can re-connect with your family to get the support you need. Burnt bridges can be re-built with contrite recognition of our mistakes and an earnest attempt not to repeat them. ie. if you are truly finished with marital relationship with your wife, make sure it stays finished.

If your relationship with your in-laws is tenuous at best, I would try to find alternative care for your child. And perhaps start looking for a "decent" job closer to family from whom you can get support.

My suggestion is to find child care for your son to minimize contact with your in laws. Apologize or explain to your family and try to rebuild those burnt bridges. Focus on getting your own place for yourself and your son and try to figure out why you keep allowing her to return. Also, finding a way to relieve stress would also be a good idea. You sound like a good father and that is a positive.

ditto to sharingmythoughts

Thank you and yes I took her back because I don’t want to be alone and also I don’t want to deny our son the chance to have a complete family, but I’m confident in my resolve now not to take her back. I’d rather be alone than in a relationship worrying about what my partner is doing. I’ve been trying to reach out to my family, only one person so far responded but that’s a plus I hope. I would love to try counseling but with my work schedule I doubt I have time. Also in regards to childcare I don’t think I can afford it my job is decent but not good enough for extras. I want to get on my own again, just not sure if I should stay or attempt a move.

I hope it brings you some comfort to know that you are not alone. In fact, I found myself in a similar situation almost a year ago. Separated from my then Wife and a considerable distance from family I felt truely alone. Despite her infidelity, my Ex was able to corrupt our mutual friends to the point of me feeling completely isolated. Lastly I ended up with the house we lived in together for over ten years, which may have been the worst part of the separation.

My solution was to sell my house and move closer to family. I am happy to say that my son is doing very well in his new school. The added support and childcare assistance from my family has been invaluable. This is not a success story by any means, it’s still very difficult, but it’s better than it was. The chaos and craziness that surrounds my alcoholic Ex continues to do so. I minimize contact with her and focus on my son.

Change can be good and you should consider it.