Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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im fearful................i think !

ollieollie
ollieollie

Hi everybody,   I started to write a post but somehow it finalised to here i am again.  the other post with heading is a typo.  dont know how to delete it.  anyway, heres the thing, i received the divorce papers/certificate a month ago and instead of feeling relieved, i was actually in shock,  and ever since people have been saying to me oh the marriage and your issues are all now in the past.  I seriously thinking why are people saying this,  if one more person tells me that, i think ill scream.......!!!!!!!!!!.  I am finding it so hard to say goodbye to 12 years of marriage with no children, thank goodness.  Its bad enough i suffer from severe depression and severe anxiety with psychotic thoughts of self harm in the mix too.  how do i move on, how do i look to the future when in fact i feel like i dont even have a future to look towards and to look forward to.  its so hard.  people say to me, you must have a goal and im like yeh ok ...........WHATTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!.  Im not able to work at the moment which makes it hard too.  then people say oh go to work it will take your mind off yourself and all your issues,  im so sick of that being said to me. seriously people just have no idea or even understand to live inside my head.  I am however thankful though that i see a psychologist regularly.  Everyday i get up and i think why am i even breathing, seriously over everything.  Its so hard to even try and see the sunlight through the midst of total darkness even in the daylight. Im so sorry to be complaining but i feel better having said all of this and to be able to get it off my chest.  These have been my thoughts for a while now.  Hugs, from ollie. xx

alovetolast19
alovetolast19
Everyone will give you their piece of mind on how you deal with things. It’s not that you don’t know how. It’s their way of trying to help, I’m sure you know that.

Here’s my take. Cry, scream, punch the pillows, hit a bags, or kick a dummy. Everybody have their ways and time to heal. Pick yours, but keep talking to professional and writing here or your own journal. Try to be patient to yourself. But keep getting up and live through day. One day, you’ll wake up and start dusting yourself and ready to make your move.
MemphisWH
MemphisWH
I would enjoy reading your daily journal.
Tell us what you are thinking and how you are processing everything.
Its not really for you but for others who will follow in your path and need to see the journey unfold.
Cherryred
Cherryred
I suggest trying to make a list of good things in your life. It can be anything, anything you see yourself lucky to have. Then you may see that there are some good things as well, maybe now bad things are getting out of balance but for the long-run it will correct itself.
ThisSucksSoMuch
ThisSucksSoMuch
:( im so sorry to hear your going through this.. What you experiencing and feeling is perfectly normal when a spouse checks out on you unexpectedly. No need to looks for reasons to justify or explain it... they did it because they wantrd to. You the one left holding the bag... because you are the vested one.. as oppose to your spouse whom checked out. I like you find my mind wandering to thoughts of loss, shock and its a nightmare. Most of the time the spouse that checked out has emotionally moved on, well before the other finds out about it.. ie being served in your case. Explanations dont take the pain away... just do not blame yourself or linger in the past of your dead relationship.... it is gone, and we must find the inner strength move on..... they have. Mourn as you need to.. its natural to do so,.... and do keep yourself busy working on something for you... hobby, volunteering, new job, start a business.... get out ... call old friends... anything positive to focus your thought elsewhere other than the lament of you done, over... marriage. If I could wave a wand a take away your pain I would :). I am suffering as you are... one week she was laughing and giggling telling me how much she loves me... and the next Im effectively dead to her... and there is no rational explanation. It is what it is, I hate it but accept it, and need to make sure that I do not go down with the ship.. as she sails off in her lifeboat...... hang in there... lots of us going through these tough times... this is a good place to share and support one another :)