Stop focusing on him, you CAN NOT change him. We only get better at our worse habits and actions without self care.
Love yourself for your success, and continue to grow and be a better self.
Focus solely in yourself and your goals, your healthy and your well being.
Attempting to control, abnormal care for him or others, or not taking care of yourself hurts your soul.
Love him in a way you are not afraid to lose him. Give him the say love and respect you give yourself. but give it to yourself first.
He does not make you. he does not break you,
Be kind to yourself, know you are worthy of your own self love and recognize your own accomplishment through your hard work and dedication.
Continue to pray daily and read the bible.
Never put yourself in harms way.
Stay healthy and safe.

Thank you for the kind words of wisdom, I will do that. learn to love myself and give myself love first, and stop focusing on him. Ill stay safe and healthy, keeping positive, I know I can succeed, I have studied all morning and Im feeling a bit better with a cup of tea, you are right, people can modify or improve or get worse, but in the end dont change.
perhaps praying may help, Im not sure about reading the bible, its been a while since I opened that book. Thank you for your reply, it was heartfelt, and I really appreciate it, its nice knowing, Im not alone, and am heard somewhere somehow. Thank you again, for the words of wisdom, it makes sense, I do need to focus only on school right now and being my best self. So far, Ive done 3 pages of work and lecture, Im feeling on the right track. Ive emailed my school, Im in touch with them again, I have an academic counsellor who is also helping to motivate me and it feels nice to take control of my path, and my things, and just focus on that. You are right, you are so very right.

hugs my friend and he never will leave his parents home. He will always be tied to their apron string. I married one of those and I understand where you are coming from. I did everything and anything for them. Always putting myself on the back burner. It does not work, never have and never will. The more they take, the more they want. You really need to focus on your future and your studies. His needs and wants are none of your concerns now. Do what feels right for you. Line up a financial advisor, a good lawyer and a therapist and go from there. He will never change for the better. You deserve better than that. Learn to be your own best friend and take as much "me" time as you need. You will be fine. When you see him, do not engage him, just smile turn around and walk away.

Thank you Atpeacemary, I appreciate the strength and courage in your words, they resonate with me, and I feel them, it makes sense and I just returned from a walk, having eaten healthy which is hard when someone orders fast food literally everyday and as a doctor to be, I try to do what I preach to my patients, I try to be healthy since I plan on telling them to do the same for their heart health and prevention of diabetes, so it felt good to walk, blow off some steam, and now Im studying again, Im reviewing my flashcards and going over my notes. It sounds like we have alot in common having experienced similar things and set backs. I feel good alone in this separate bedroom and doing my own routine, all he does is sleep all day and game all night. I on the other hand, will continue to study and persevere. I will not give up, and I will write my license exam, and finish the 2nd half of medical school and become a doctor. Thank you so much for your words, I truly am grateful for the support I have received today, seriously thank you so much. <3

You have your life ahead of you. Don’t let this weigh you down. I’m in the same boat and plodding along. I didn’t think I’d be headed divorce in my 20s but I may very well be.

You deserve abundant happiness. You can find this on your own, then once you have it, share it with someone worthy of you. Hugs

Well, good news I guess.... figured I'd share some positive news since the world we live in right now is all upside down with the riots, protests, covid-19, fires, and vandalism..... racism as well as sexism, so much anger and sadness... the world is on fire....

On a good note: Husband came 3 days after silence and distance, it had been a week long fight if not longer. He came to me, cried, and apologized. Agreed to eat healthy and lose weight to avoid high blood pressure, obesity, stroke or heart attack. His father passed away last year from a stroke.

It has been 1 week now that he is dressing up with jeans, instead of sweat pants. he shaving lol...everywhere. He is putting on some after shave, cologne, and has been doing chores, picking up things, dishes, laundry, he has made efforts by taking walks to exercise and watch his portions during meal time. We were intimate this week for the first time in a while, he initiated and I was surprised. I see effort, I see actions, not just words.

I wanted to share this news, because I was able to forgive as long as he made it up to me, I hope that in weeks time and months time he keeps it up, so here is the update. in the meantime, thank you for the support you all gave me and the listening.

I have kept a distance to study, I have been getting work done. I have an academic counsellor that I speak to every thursday now. Im feeling relieved and happier, Im listening to my lecture notes at nights, practicing questions, going over my material with a nice routine in the morning that includes a cup of coffee or tea. : )

Here is some good news, to spread some positivity. : )

bad news I guess..... so much for hope...
heart broken today.... so many ups and downs....
its a fairy tale.. things are great... he is great.... then 1hr later.....not nice, 2hrs later, annoyed with me for doing things I always did that he found cute, 4hrs later....
angry with me,.... as though something is wrong?
Money is good, I have a job.
school is going well... but could be better if this stuff wasn't so distracting.
so moody today, so angry..... I gave space, I tried to be respectful... approached him 4hrs later.... asking "why are you mad? what have I done?"
its as though he didn't have a good reason, he was speechless... angry... and even more annoyed... felt as though he hates me...

he got so upset that interrupted his xbox game session, because he cant pause it online, he was furious that I wanted to talk and ask why he was so mean all day? I don't understand... anytime we didn't agree, I compromised or caved in and said yes... allowing many things that was hurting us before.... finances, our marriage, his health... etc... we negotiated and at times did his way too... whatever it was he wanted....

tonight he got so mad, that he slammed his fist on the desk... grinded his teeth baring them with clenched fists, he nearly broke his gaming controller by slamming things so hard when he lost his game while I was trying to ask him to talk to me.... I tried to wait several hours and then I just really wanted to know why he was so mad? why he hated me today?why he was annoyed with me today? I usually have an idea or as to why he is mad... but today was confusing.... I actually dont know why or have a clue.... and its very strange....
he wants space, wants to be alone... I tried to nice, to be forgiving, the fights have been fewer since this previous post....
i dont know... Im confused?
Im online looking for a room to rent.... I had tears in my eyes... I dont cry really... its rare, so for me to feel choked up.... wondering why does my husband hate me today?

he went from being happy in the morning to resentful in the afternoon and by night time he loathed me......I feel very unloved...
he enjoys my company when its convenient for him... when he feels calm, says sorry so often I lost count...

but this emotional rollarcoaster... the amount of ups and downs... its hurting me alot.... its very confusing... one minute everything is fine, its paradise, breakfast together...
but.... the next day or next week... a bad fight... ??

Ive been clearing his credit cards, helping his credit history, paying for things, he made efforts to help at home, he was trying to cook, efforts were made... on both ends... but today threw me off balance... and Im very lost....
the only thing he could say is "you never let me do what I want"

I dont know if that means I dont let him abuse his credit cards? eat mcdonalds everyday, have a 2hr night routine where we cuddle and watch tv? when maybe he would prefer to be gaming...

I dont know... I feel hurt... alone... and confused... and nothing makes sense...

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I have a feeling that he doesn't have you. He hates himself. You have everything he wants in life. Education, a good job in a high paying career. You take care of yourself and are accomplishing great things.

His great things - high score on the xBox. He doesn't want a wife - he wants a mommy to take care of him and make sure he has want he wants. As you say, you always have to bend to his wishes, so be takes and gives nothing back.

I would put deep thought into the future you want and whether or not he fits in that picture. Good luck.

It sounds like a bad partner that only cares about himself. If there is no intimacy in the relationship it will fall apart. intimacy is the second most important thing to communication. It seems your relationship lacked both. I suppose in your circumstances you should try couples therapy and get your feelings off your chest. You need to make your partner take you seriously and come across as someone that wants something back, to him. All the best.