i would be protective too but i think what she is doing is ok. i would be more concerned if she never mentioned her kids to him.

I can understand why you're mad. Also, as far as the kids not meeting him...I don't know. I haven't gotten into a serious relationship since my divorce, but I imagine it would take a looooooooong time before I bring my son around anyone.
I think, honestly, the fact she's sending the pics to the guy she is cheating with would piss me off, although I don't know why exactly.

how much "emotional ownership" do you feel over those photos?

If that bothers you, don't email anymore. Her own perspective what to do with pictures.

You don't have to share the pics with her, if she is sharing them with him! Keep them for yourself! :)

I felt the same way when my ex did similar things and introduced my kids to a man I didn't know, I think that is natural, but as bad as I hate to say it, they are her pics once you send them to her, and she is their mother, so she can do what she wishes with them unless she breaks the law with it. Divorced life with kids involved sucks brother, I know your pain.

I can see why she would. Only because she's with him and her kids are obviously important to her...you might wanna mention to her you don't like it or just stop sending them if it bothers you that much. God bless!

.......And I know I can just "Stop" sending them to her but....is that really mature of me? Also I feel very intimate about the pictures of our children.....and I only share them with people who really have a "vested" interest in my family....and I sent her picture that I would only share with her.........I just want to make sure I'm not making a "knee jerk" decision based on emotion.

I'm a photographer too, I feel emotional ownership over my images as much as I do over my paintings or sculptures. So I get the issue about feeling intimate and protective over your children and the images you take of them, but I also feel like sharing that creative part of me, or my gift with someone who would "fling them about" to the OW/OM would be enough of a reason for me to decide that my ex doesn't deserve that gift.

I don't see it as being immature or bitchy, but more as a spiritual matter about my gift, and how I value it, and being selective and discerning about whom I share it with.

I don't know if that's helpful or not.

Look, they're her kids too, she can get a camera and take her own shots if she wants, she doesn't have to have yours as well. If she does get ANY of yours, she's luckier than most ex's.

Thank you Joy for distilling your thoughts perfectly....:)

They're your photos and they're your kids. As a photographer, I can appreciate the annoyance of having your work sent not only to some total stranger but a stranger who betrayed you with your wife, it's like a double whammy. Personally I would be pissed off if that happened to me.

I think your feelings are normal. I felt that way when the EX was picking up our children and going places with the new GF. I don't think withholding sending more pics is immature. I think you have just come to a place where you have to acknowledge that she has an other in her life. The feeling will pass, but I cannot tell you how long it will take. Feel it, acknowledge it...then let it go. Before long you won't give a care anymore. (((HUGS)))