I would suggest if you feel drawn to accept responsibility for your part consider mailing her a hand written letter. This offers her an opportunity to feel a sense of decision over when she is ready to read and receive your communication. Only consider this if she hasnt told you to not contact her. If she has already stated she didnt want to communicate you should respect that.

I wish you the best.

Thanks for wishing me the best. At times like this even the most simple gesture of kindess means a lot! :)

This time she did not request no contact. If she had, I would have respected her wish as I did the first two times.

She just texted me back, saying she'd give me a call after she puts her boys to bed.

Breaking the No Contact rule turned out to be a huge plus for me! And not in the way you might think.

The conversation went pretty well, and I was able to say what I wanted to and we talked for a bit. Light stuff. She started yawning so I attempted to end the call, suggesting she probably needed to retire. I actually tried to end the call several times, but it went on for 25 minutes or so.

She said okay, but she had to ask me a question. It was an accusatory question, trying to catch me in a lie which just wasn't there. It was tied to proving how completely different we really are. Then she brought religion into it. She's a fairly strict Baptist. Suddenly I was being grilled on my religious beliefs (I'm Catholic), and being asked on whether I subscribed to the Bible as the literal Word of God.

I saw no reason whatsoever for the conversation taking this turn, especially since I was content (even though sad), said what I wanted to (apologized for my part in the recent dustup), agreed we were completely different and it probably wouldn't have worked.

Now I'm angry. Whatever hope I may have held out for a reconciliation is gone. I know I would have been pining away for her for who knows how long even though I understood it was over.

I also know myself. I generally don't get angry, and when I do it passes quickly. So I take this as a Godsend that I broke my promise of NC. Love is blind, and I certainly was. Now my eyes are open and I can see very clearly.

I thank God this did happen after three short months rather than much further down the road.

Very good... closure is something we all seek and sometimes, just getting that one more time to talk to them, gives us just that.

best wishes.

I was often amazed at how getting angry helped me. i am not by nature and angry person.
But anger helped me to get a lawyer, to take the steps I needed to take.

Hang in there.

I was in your shoes a few weeks ago breaking the no contact rule a number of times hoping we could reconcile but all it did was put me back to square one with all the hurt and pain...she constantly reminded me why we split up and even threw in a few other issues that we have never discussed....when she did that I knew she didn't want this anymore...now I haven't seen or heared from here for two weeks, and it has its ups and downs but I really see improvement...hang in there ..stick to the n.c. rule it works

Thanks Daniel77. I did what I should have done last week. All references and reminders of her are deleted. From my cell phone and Outlook. Text messages, emails, contact entries.

I also told her it's over from my side. It has to be over from my side. It was a bad idea for me to contact her, and I won't do so again, and she should not contact me either, not even to ask if I'm okay like she did yesterday.

She's a strange lady. Says it's not easy for her either. She still thinks about me all the time, cares for me and worries about me, but it couldn't work out. And apprently it's all because she's much more conservative religiously.

It is amazing how differences in religious views can create tension in a relationship, especially when either of you are not prepared to relax your own views or try to embrace some of the other's views as a slight compromise.
You are so lucky you have come to realise this before you had got any more committed or further into your relationship. Also it is not so often that one is lucky enough to get the kind of closure you were able to experience. Count yourself lucky this time.

new2free, I would replace amazing with sad. I attended several services at her church, including a very nice candlelight service on Christmas Eve.

Oh well, I'm going out ice skating tonight with a couple dozen members of an outdoor club I belong to.