I need to vent! I'm sorry if this offends anyone, that is not my intent. I just need to get something off my chest that really bothers me.

3 months ago, my husband told me he has been depressed and unhappy for awhile and he wants a divorce. He met someone else. 24 years of marriage, it has not been anywhere near perfect, he had left me once before during the marriage for 12 years. I know, I'm an idiot for letting him come back. Basically we have been nothing more than roommates.

Today, I found out my oldest stepson broke up with his gf of 5 years. They have a 4 yr old daughter together. His reason? He's not happy.

Since when, is unhappiness an excuse to get a divorce or break up a long term relationship? To throw away the other person? I'm sorry, if you are unhappy, why should you dump the other person? Maybe work on being happy within yourself and then work on the relationship? I feel like this being unhappy is a cop out. Am I the one that made my husband unhappy? No, he says we get along good. " It's him, not me." He stills cares about me a lot and even loves me, just not like a husband and wife. Another cop out. He is not addressing the real problem, finding happiness within himself and then working on the relationship. When he came back after being gone for 12 years, we talked about putting the marriage back together, he never even tried. Granted, it was probably over anyways, we should have divorced then, he was gone to long. I wasn't very happy either for the last 5 years but I was content to just go on like it was or put in the work to make it work. My fault I guess.

My stepson works 7 months out of the year away from his gf and their daughter. They talk multiple times a day over video calls and things. I know my stepson is crazy about his daughter, he is a good dad when he is around. Again, if you're not happy, find happiness within yourself and then work on the relationship!!

Newness, giddiness, wonderful feelings about someone wear off after while, that's when relationships mature. There is a deeper, richer love. It involves valuing the relationship and takes a great deal of effort to maintain it. One is not going to have a "happy" long term relationship without those 2 elements. What about parents or grandparents or anyone else you know with a long marriage? Do you think the whole marriage they were "Happy", you think the whole marriage was never without problems, stress, not being "in love" with the other partner? But they saw value in the relationship and put in effort to maintain it. They put in the hard work.

It just makes me angry, A lot of people don't want to try, they don't value the relationship or the other person., they don't want to do the hard work to stay together.

I'm sorry, maybe I'm way off base but this is how I feel. Rant over.