Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Anyone who will listen...
I have been really having an incredibly hard time letting go of the one person I have loved more than anything in my entire adult life.
As I have posted on here the painful details of what I have been through recently and I wont beat a dead horse with all the details but I am simply in incredible pain. The pain takes no breaks. Its there 24/7. One huge issue is that she is my office manager and I really would struggle if I asked her to find another job. Seeing her is torture. Absolute torture!
I love her and her little boy more than words can ever express. I have told her how I feel and she said she will think things through but I struggle to give her space. I always seem to be in her face asking if she is still "thinking" and don't forget how much i love her. I am absolutely pushing her further away!
Please help me find comfort in giving her the space she has asked for and help me to relax. I am a wreck....
Jim
I have been really having an incredibly hard time letting go of the one person I have loved more than anything in my entire adult life.
As I have posted on here the painful details of what I have been through recently and I wont beat a dead horse with all the details but I am simply in incredible pain. The pain takes no breaks. Its there 24/7. One huge issue is that she is my office manager and I really would struggle if I asked her to find another job. Seeing her is torture. Absolute torture!
I love her and her little boy more than words can ever express. I have told her how I feel and she said she will think things through but I struggle to give her space. I always seem to be in her face asking if she is still "thinking" and don't forget how much i love her. I am absolutely pushing her further away!
Please help me find comfort in giving her the space she has asked for and help me to relax. I am a wreck....
Jim
It juds takes time my friend. Be patient. Enjoy the time off for now.
As you have said yourself , by being in her face about it, you are only going to really succeed in really pushing her away.
As painful as it is the only way she is going to really be able to work out what she is missing or losing out on is if you give her space, and lots of it.
I know it has to be so incredibly tough having her in your work space and in such close proximity every day, which makes the giving of the space even harder.
You have to convince yourself to give her the space. If you really want her back, the only way you have a chance is by letting her go so she can breathe and work it out for herself. If she is feeling at all pressured by you, she is more likely to want to get away.
No amount of coaxing and persuading is going to make someone love you, and they will only feel cornered and will resent that.
If you truly love her, you have to let her go, so she can find her way back to you, if she loves you.
Please do this for yourself. You deserve to have her back in your life if she does love you, but you don't want her to feel forced into a relationship that she does not want. That can only lead to more unhappiness. I know because I lived that lie for 28 years and ended up a very unhappy person and someone I did not really like as a result of it.
Please try to be strong for yourself and for your future happiness.
a woman instinctively wants a man stronger than she. you must come across that way. but, i think that you have already blown it. but, no big loss, she messed around on you and ruined what you had.
find a new woman. start fresh. and sell your business if you have to in order to get away from her.
I think I am in a similar place as you. I see my ex a lot because of the kids and I still love him and want him back also. And when he's around -- that is the only time I feel better.
However, I have to ask myself - if he came back -- how would that really work. He has betrayed me and shown that his loyalties are to another. If we haven't both made changes within ourselves -- then we are likely to be in the same place again in the very near future. (I for one - never want to feel like this again.) I think for now -- working on you, focusing on your needs (not the ones that involve her) and working on getting past this and getting stronger is your best bet. In all liklihood -- when you get stronger and feel better about yourself -- that is when she will want you back. Of course, by that point you might be strong enough and understand yourself enough that you won't want her back. And will see her for what she is. Because -- clearly if she can do that with your best friend -- then she might not be the person you fell in love with in the beginning.
Hugs for you -- I definitely am feeling your pain today.