I think the anger you are feeling is healthy. Do you think that you could work with a therapist so that you could express your anger safely, work through your divorce from your husband, and get on with your life? I think all three of these things need to happen. He is not going to change.

What is the holdup with the divorce?

The anger you feel is a purely natural reaction to what he has done to you and to what you have allowed to happen.
Use that anger to help you be strong enough to finally do this for yourself. It was my extreme anger with my ex that finally helped me to make my divorce a reality. To free myself from his verbally and psychologically abusive ways.

You are already setting up good boundaries, so use that anger to help you keep them and to push this divorce through to completion. You deserve it and owe it to yourself. You do deserve better.

HUGS HUGS HUGS!!

O
M
G

Your story is identical to mine...just throw in alcoholism, violence and video games.

Im so sorry you have to go through this too...

I PROMISE that there are brighter days ahead....Wishing you the best in healing.

The anger is natural, just as Perennial and New2free have stated. it is never easy in situations like that. before i was married, i dated a woman for 4 years, who cheated on me when i was deployed a few times. It hurt a lot to hear that and deal with it, as we were supposed to get married. but, My wife was there as a friend and helped me through it before we got married. If there is feelings there, and he is willing to change, maybe counseling could help fix something. If not, still recommend counseling for you to help you through this. I will be praying for you!

serial cheaters NRVER change. run away.

How could you not feel angry after all of that?! You should see if there is free counceling in your area to help you work though it and to give you strength! They would also be able to help you with your depression. I also know on Meetup.com in my area there is a group just for people going through breakups. They offer information on help in your area. You can meet with them (the boot the ones out that are there to just hook up) and get strenght from their insight.

Thank you all for responding.. I guess the anger is healthy and maybe I should embrace it so I dont let him back into my life. I know it's just a matter of time before he tries to manipulate me again. We've been going through this too long. The hold up on the divorce is that he had gotten deployed and the judge would not move foreward on finalizing anything while he was overseas. He just got back in September and came here to visit in October. We were supposed to deal with it while he was here but instead I fell for him again because I missed him a lot so it didnt take long for him to get to me. Sometimes I feel so overwhlemed with anger that I get really anxious and want to text him all the mean nasty things going through my head. It really pisses me off that he can so heartlessly play these games. He also owes me $20,000 in child/spousal support and that burns me up since my kids and I are barely making ends meet and he's driving a new cadillac and letting his girlfriend live with him for free. I feel totally abandoned. Oh and Namaste there is also alcohol in the mix as well. He started drinking after his first deployment due to PTSD and it led to him spending all of our money and sleeping around. I was in counseling from July to October, and it helped but it was uncomfortable at the same time and having to get a sitter every week wasnt easy. I had told my therapist I didnt want to give in to him again, but I did anyways. I feel so stupid. Right now I feel like I can never talk to him again. He's coming to visit for Christmas. IDK how I'm going to get through it.