Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Imlosingit 08/01/2017

I'm a plethora of feelings! Currently rolled up into numb. I feel like no matter what choice I make, it's not going to be right. But not making one isn't right either. How do I go on this 17day out west trip with the man that broke my heart. Who I'm still living with, playing the roommate roll. 27 years vested. And I feel like I have absolutely nothing good to show for it. (no kids, thank God) I no longer know who I am or how to become the me I want to be. I have to learn to accept and incorporate the mental disorders- ADD, Bipolar2, PTSD, and TBI, into my life, as well as my husband's emotional affair last year, and now his leaving me because he can't deal with me anymore. Well that's depressing, spelling it out like that. I'm working my mental ass off while husband sits back and keeps his distance from me. I'm so mentally exhausted. I want a vaca from me. I want to feel like I can live a free happy life again. I don't like making horrible decisions like, to divorce or stay in a love less marriage. Always having to find the strength to pull myself up out of something. How can I go on this trip? How can I not go on this trip? How do I decide what's best? I'm at 40 -60 right now. Tonight he was talking so casually about the plans for this. Like this is all well and good. Despite anything I've told him about how I feel. Sorry, crying in my milk. I'm just at such an impasse. Catch 22

Q-dot 08/01/2017

I'm sure you want to move on, but as often in life this is easier said than done. The hardest step in the arduous journey of breakup recovery is this one painful decision to let go finally. you must be willing to let go of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for you. better days ahead

Imlosingit 08/01/2017

Thank you. I'm trying. I know I can no longer be with this person that has no love, compassion or respect for me. I deserve better. If it wasn't for this upcoming trip out west, I feel I'm ready to start talking divorce. But starting now I believe would not be in my best interest. He would make things worse for me and the trip will suck. And after all he's done to me, I deserve this trip. Yellowstone is on my bucket list, and I may never get this chance again. So I guess I just made my decision. I'll be strong and do my best to keep it together till after the trip is through. Sept 4th. Ugh that's a long time. Guess, since I've made it this far, I can bare it a while longer. Good way to build more strength right? Sigh... thanks again for your words.

tejema 08/01/2017

Don't go on the trip. It's not worth it. You have plenty of time to hit your bucket list item on your own and on your own terms. You deserve more and while it may be the hardest thing you'll ever do, my suggestion would be to forgo the trip and focus on separating and eventual divorce. I highly doubt you'll enjoy the trip and one could argue this trip you "deserve" may create more mental anguish and be bad for you in the end.

Sorry don't mean to be that direct. It's not the easy and I don't have all the facts. Regardless of what you decide please don't feel like you're alone! We're all here. Good luck!

bobbyu 08/06/2017

I done many things on my bucket list with my ex, and each one now doesn't count. I feel for you. You feel screwed no matter what. Damned if you do and damned if you don't huh?

Imlosingit 08/07/2017

tif777, yes I asked months ago about marriage counseling. No go. He doesn't want to. Me? I've been to counselors on off for 15 years. Ever since my mom died. One would think, I would have learned something. ;) But for the past year I've been seeing a wonderful therapist, that has helped me more than I ever thought possible. Learning a new me on top of learning a new life is not exactly smooth sailing. I've crashed a lot. But I've gained and grown a lot too. And the more coming here has been helping a lot also. I'm doing ok, I'm getting to have say over most of what we'll be seeing out on the trip. Have a map with dots started on it already.

bobbyu I can and I will do this. Im going to make this "my" vacation trip. And go enjoy what "I" want to see. Yes, it will be hard, but maybe going in with eyes open it will be ok. (10 days and counting) need to keep my eye on the prize at the end. The big "D". and then more chugging along saga... thanks for being here for me..

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