I totally know where you are. I am sorry you are going through this. I am the same way. I thought I was over mine then I have time to think and know if he would have worked on his anger we could have stayed together. But that is why this site is here for us to reach out to others to help us get through these situations and for me I call them fall backs. I have plenty of them and that is all part of the process we go through cause we get attached to our spouses or other person and it is very hard to let people go no matter how they have treated us. It is amazing how some can move on quicker than others. My husband moved on really quick so I am now exactly what you are talking about. It is still hard even after a month and a half of knowing he has moved on I keep hoping that something would bring him back but I know he want. But on the other hand, I am getting to a point where I am getting disgusted by him cause I know he is only in that "relationship" for one thing. Just keep your head up and try to remember why you split. I know it is hard but I am told it will get easier. We just have to take it one second at the time. Hugs

I am so sorry for the pain. It is so very hard at first. My first year, well almost two years I felt sad so much of the time. The ex and her life seemed to have so much I didn't have. But now I see things more clearly and I would not want the life they have together. You will get better with time. Try to find something to distract yourself with today. Hugs

Little things like that have a way of creeping in even when we feel we're on top of the world.

I was having text wars with my ex...which is odd because we get along just fine..I initiated the whole thing of course...but he said something that was like a knife in the gut. He said:

"my life has limped on; good bad or ugly".

Hang in there. All that glitters is not gold.

Nix - I know how hard this is - you have hit a real low on the rollercoaster ride but you will start up again.

As you can see from the posts, you are not alone.

My husband didn't start up with Wallpaper Woman until post-separation (he previously had talked about how stupid she was) but still in my heart of hearts I felt some pain (well, a lot when he took her to our niece's wedding, but that's another story).

Big hugs to you!

Lynne

Thankyou for your support ladies.I know its awful but im dreading the kids coming home and telling me anything about him.I just feel so fragile today.Its only 5pm here and i want to get in bed and just sleep.

Sorry you're in this tough spot today nix. Try some mental distractions. Get out and enjoy life on the outside. Sometimes it helps to be around others to "put" you in a good mood.

One of my goals for 2010 is to be more mentally disciplined. I try to focus on my tasks for the day and limit my pity party time to a specific time in the evening. It's not always perfect...yesterday while driving it hit me. Though, I dust off and keep on trying to focus away from the pity party for at least most of the day. I just can't let the past, that I can not change, rob me completely of my gift of life!

Nix -- I just want to say how very sorry I am.

i understand completely where you are nix.... it's amazing how hard it is sometimes... one minute doing great.. the next just wanting to cry our eyes out... it's a roller coaster ride for sure... i still am sad about my ex no longer loving me, but i can tell you for certain that time is helping... i'm no where near as bad as i was 3 months ago ... it really does get easier to deal with .. even if we never get over them (((( HUGS))))

It is a soft spot and I am sorry you are in it right now, but I tell you that it gets better with time. When the story changes and you will be driving your new boyfriend's car to pick up the kids he will be the one scratching his head. I know right now you don't even want to think of such absurd but I tell you that good things will come your way and you will be able to move on. You'll see.

I am sorry you are having a down day...I experienced plenty of those myself in the beginning. It does get easier as time passes...try to hang in there and get through the day. I always remembered this little saying: If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.

I hope things get better for you!

The kids are back now so i do feel a little better.I had to ask about him but they wont tell me anything (i told them not to even if i ask).But im sure our daughter will get at me by telling me snippets at a later date when shes angry with me.

This is an emotional time for all, i will tell you something that happened to me last week that may lift your spirits.
I was on a night out with friends when i bumped into an ex from many years ago, it was the first time we had chance to speak alone from when we broke up many years before, to my shock he told me he still loved me & had lost his best friend.

It took me 4 years to get over him, we have had contact but in the last 10 years there has been very little as we have a 26 year old daughter & they have a good relationship but because she is old enough to have contact with him alone, i rarely see him.

He is married with 3 more daughters who i adore but he still insists he made the biggest mistake of his life leaving me, i told him i have no hard feelings (have always been ok with him) we were young at the time.

He asked if we could be friends forever, i agreed, he had tight hold of my hand & i could tell i stared up a lot of old emotions, he kissed my hand then pleaded with me to stay where i was while he went to the gents because he had so much more to tell me, i agreed but when he was out of sight i made a sharp exit for the door & went home. After he broke my heart 26 years ago i dont even feel like i got my own back on him, i feel nothing for him, i feel more for his wife who has no idea her husband wishes he was with the mother of his first daughter, how sad!

Sorry you had a bad day, crying is inevitable sometimes... But tomorrow is another day, and soon another year.. Time sweet time.. Hugs to you, nix...