Where do I start, at the beginning I guess.



Married 10 years - dated 2 before total of 12 years.

3 beautiful Kids

Wife in last 2 years became a stay at home mom with the 3rd - financial made the best sense - kids was hard - never took a bottle from anyone - always on mom - very little time.

Me - running 5 restaurants and growing company - One of two Director- and all the stress that comes with that plus a growing family.

Wife -Loney, Depressed, kids stressed her out, feels alone and feels like she rasied the kids alone.

I worked long hours - but last year my role was defined and I am know working more manageable hours (50 week) 2 days off (finally) finally have the venues staffed and running.

Our relationship like any other - ups and downs - but we really fought - where best friends and into one and another - made each other laugh and still do. I am crazy for her and she knows it. But I did get burn out from the job in recent years and my tolerance was low. So when I was home I wasn;t really home.



So about 3 months ago - I had a mental breakdown after opening my 5 th restaurant - prior 6 months to opening was hard at job - lost a ton a managers - pressure to hit budgets and open the concept on time. I finally got the place open and the night of the grand opening - after all the congrats and cocktails driving home with my wife - I lost it on myself - saying I was no good at my job, I was down.

At that point a light switch hit my wife - She wanted out.

So a few days later - She said that she was not in love with me and wanted a divorce, that the kids where hard on her, and wanted a job, to find happiness and start a new course in life with me being a family unit. She loved me and adored me but was not "in love with me"

I was shocked and blown away - I knew the kids where hard on her and with earlier discussion with her family that she might of had a small personal breakdown. They said they would talk to her - but never did - they never talk the serious stuff - just don't talk to each other and sweep it under the carpet.

Well back to the story - I was shocked and asked what did I do - she said I was negeative, moody and she was loney - I said those are easy to fix - she said you can't fix those they are personal traits - I said I might not fix it, but I can improve.

I ask if we could slow down and go to Marriage Counseling - her respond was no.

I asked her If she wanted me to move out - her response was no.

So we talked a few times that week - very emotional on me, I cried she did not - tough cookie - she keeps everything insides and never shows true emotion.

I find out that she found an "Emotional Support" on facebook to help her thru this process - I asked her about him, was a old elementary school friend that dated for an afternoon in 5th grade. But he was going through his own sticky divorce with kids. I played it cool, I always trusted her. She found somebody to confide in.

Oh I was wrong - looking into phone bills I soon realized how much they talked - hours a day - what kind a guy has this time to talk all morning, afternoon and night.

Well as the weeks go on, I find some inappropriate texting going on - I call her out - she says that it was all in fun and did cross the line.

I asked her who was this guy and what is it all about - her response was he made her happy and she did not know what it was.

I called him next - he informed me that my wife reached out to him and said that the divorce was final and all that was needed was to be signed.

I lost it, I called her parents and sister to inform them of the situation - they where aware that she wanted a divorce but was not talking to somebody else. - They are know pissed at her.

At this point she is pissed and frustrated at me and saying that if there was a chance in the marriage I just slammed the door - confused yes, first you say it was over then there was a chance.

Well as the weeks go on I look at phone bill everyday and l realize that the calls are not happening. My gut says she got a new phone. Well you where right - this guy meet up with her and gave her a phone. Made an google account with his name saying he loved her.

I called her out on it - I said you don't even know this guy - and he says he loves you. She looked at me like a 5 year that got caught stealing a cookie -

Well eventually she returned the phone to this guys mother 2 days later - why cause he was arrested for herion and has a criminal record for car theft, possession and some others.

Well I don't know how many times they meet up, but I called her out on it and gave her all the information. he is in rehab and court dates keep getting pushed. I don't know how many times she called him since, but I think she realized that her "emotion friend" was not all he was cracked up to be.

But the weeks go by - good days and bad days - good conversation and bad.

I asked to move out so I can start my process.

Been seeing a therapist

but recent fight we had - she started in the morning - woke up pisses - we got into for all of 3 minutes I rose my voice and said I can get loud in my house if I want to because I do have emotions to. Next thing I knew she punch me in the face, choked me and through me into a wall - 4 foot hole.

I left immediately -in shock I guess - and hide for 2 days - my kids thank god just heard the crash - not the act.

See apologized - saying that she should of never gotten that mad or started the fight - I get it she is depressed, lonely mad at asking for a divorce - but you attacked me for doing what you ask - give you space, be there for the kids.

She is pissed that I am talking to her family more than her - father won't talk to her -mom is in her own world. She says this is between me and her and that is it. I feel as I can talk to whoever I chose - my circle is small. But she probably is embarrassed about everything and is just pissed know.

She has confused me and says I can hold her hand and take her out to dinner, but I said those are confusing for me. So we do go out to dinner have a great time - I tell her that those signs confuse me and her response - your my best friend and we just needed a break. Since then any little sign of hope does not happen.

She says that she know is going to therapy - setting it up - good

and that the next step is for us to go to marriage counseling to walk us through the divorce process. - confused???

We both agreed to do therapy first - then when she gets a job we can revisit the next steps.

I love this girl, never though we be here, she said there is practically no chance for this marriage to work. She knows I hope it does- so she has the upper hand with my emotions.

Everybody including her parents say to get out of the marriage that I deserve better and to find happiness and that she always treated me poorly - but I put up blinders - But that is there feelings.

Mine is my wife is lost with loneliness, being a stay at home mom (which she should be working), husband not around as much as he should and caught in a tangle of lies.

what do I do or feel. I love her and been in a fog of sadness plus everything else she has done over the weeks.