yep. im 14 months post divorce and i am still the same way about my ex and stepdaughter. it really sucks. oh well, right? what can you do?
i dont think my ex is better off without me in his life - i think he is still a miserable person inside - but thats not really a consolation prize to me.
good job doing the no contact. its hard. hug your kids lots.
xoxo

It's a toughie when you know they are with another. Your doing great Jim, I know exactly how you feel.

thats awesome Jim!! staying focused & busy is the best idea. I'm in the very begining stages of no contact & its very difficult but I know that I cant keep hurting myself anymore. I know how you feel also.. keep your head up & I will be praying for strength tonight also..

It hasn't been that long since you broke up. This is still very fresh. If you were together in terms of years, it will take a while to process. I don't think you will be over this soon.

There is one thing that can be done to ease some of your pain--minor distractions. I'm not saying do whatever you can to forget about her, but do what you can to distract yourself until you are in a healthier place to be able to deal with the overwhelming feelings you are having now. Too much pain, is just that--too much. You can't allow yourself to be consumed by this.

Take some time for yourself to lift your soul until you can adequately deal with all these feelings.

Jim,

Hang in there. You are doing quite well considering what has transpired!

I'd like you to consider this one stamenet you made:

"I don't want to allow her to hurt us anymore"

In reality she can't hurt you anymore. Only you can. I'm not trying to be too stern here, but this is an important concept to wrap your mind around. Only you can truly inflict pain on yourself.

I'm not saying it's easy to come to believe this, but when we do, everything changes.

I am sorry to here that you are in so much pain.

Stay focused on the positives in your life - - your kids and your business.

It will take time - you will get thru it.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

I have to ask myself... What would I do if not for the support I find here?

Everyone is so supportive and it has helped me so much! I will keep to the No Contact and pray that each day gets just a little bit better...

Jim

Jim, let me tell you, I can GUARANTEE that her life IS NOT what you're imagining. Those two (your ex and your former best friend) cannot possibly trust each other. He knows she did to you and she knows what he did to you. They already know what each other is capable of. Believe me, THEY DO NOT TRUST EACH OTHER. I would put money on the fact that one of will be, if they aren't already, cheating on the other. Trust me, her life isn't rosy, and happy and fulfilling (which is what we tend to obsess over). I bet there is friction, unhappiness and discord up to the sky in that household!

coming off a co-dependent relationship changes your perception on everything. its so hard i have been through it. your brain is Very confused but it will get better WHEN you focus on yourself and learn about yourself.

Songinmyheart - you nailed it. You are so right about the "trusting" issue. They have manage to put themselves into a never ending emotional roller coaster ride every time one of them walks out the door with out the other one by his or her side. WHOOT WHOOT !!!! for them. They truely deserve what is coming their way.

(Songinmyheart - you nailed it) Times 100...I love that post..I agree also.
Once someone has cheated on a good person, they are always haunted by that sin.
I did everything I could for ex and still she cheated on me.
God or Karma or the Universe, what comes around goes around.

"I just wanted to say that not a moment goes by where i don't think about my ex" Me 2

Keep it up Jim. You are doing really, really well.

I'm not going to lie...you are at the epicenter of suckitude....but it does get easier.

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to comfort me. I really appreciate it as it helps me sleep at night to know its going to be ok...

I am praying for us all...

Jim