I am sorry for what you are going through. The fact that you both seem to have anger issues and be uncertain of what you really want is probably better you discovered this before you did wind up married...I am sure there is a hole in your heart
.....I think you do have the right idea with your counseling....and with his (or her) help maybe you can begin to heal, but also fill that void with what I am finally discovering we all need first. You need to discover who you are, what you want and need and finally come to realize you deserve all of that.

The fact that she could not give you that for more than a few days tells me she feels just as insecure herself. Hang in there....keep sharing and opening up to others and keep on with your counseling. It will eventually get better.

Thank you both for your words. Council g helps me for the time I'm there. And that's about it. Talking helps alot too. I have a hard time thinking that I will not spend the rest of our lives together. That is the hardest part for me. I've always had trouble through break up and I've always got through. Even through my divorce. This time it's the hardest for me. She was my best friend. We were so connecred. And yes we had hard times but we always got back together because of the good times. There were just so many times we would laugh in the grocery store, hold hands as we fell asleep. And email each other all day long. I compare everyone I meet to her. No one compares. She was the best and worst thing that happened to me.

I also think that she was the first relationship I had when I relocated to myrtle beach. She showed me everything and took me everywhere.

I don't feel whole. I feel like my heart and my soul are bleeding. I can't picture her with someone else. (We've said this to each other so many times).

Thank YOU for your replies. They really help me alot

Do you know anyone else in Myrtle Beach? Maybe that might be why it is so difficult, if you don't have a lot of connections in the area. I'm trying so hard to take people's suggestions and get out and just meet new friends... it's been very difficult for me to do because of the depression but I'm hoping that eventually I will feel at least a little better enough to get out and find other people.

Thank you for your response. I am certain that she is what I want. I'm bot say g that we are perfect. But I am certain she is whoni want to be with. I know she is confused all the time. For the most part she always leaves me bc her 15yr old son is jealous of all her relationships. Even the ones with his sisters. He gets angry with her if he hears us making love. He does not like me and every time he voices that she feels the need to leave me. I don't mind being second to he children. But I do need to matter. I wish I could do this all over again with her and start from the beginning

Wow same thing happened to me, my guy lived an hour away from and I moved me and my kids in only for him to throw us out without warning saying I couldn't give him "all" of me, work kids life came before him, so out we went, once , twice and now again; however I always found out it was because he was dating someone else... that hurt. But he is the man of my dreams , gave us the world, took us to Disney, this last time he begged me back he told all the kids we were getting married bought a ring and planned a trip to Mexico NEXT MONTH. However someone better came along again as he packed our things last month and has been with her since. Heartbroken, devistated, mad, it's awful. I'm sorry you are going through it too. We slept holding hands too. Spooning while his left arm went under my head and held my left hand. I loved it... god I miss it but knowing he's just snuggled up with someone else like that makes me sick.

Ladybug.

I can relate so well. She was my best friend. We talked all day and laughed all night. Now I can't imagine her sleeping with someone else. And I know that someday I'm going to be waking up next to someone else, and thinking to myself I'm waking up with the wrong person. I don't know if it's just because I can't control the situation that makes me feel this way? And I can't make her love me the way she used to love me. And the thoughts of never growing old with her.

I know exactly. He would text me all day long sweet messages. He worked midnights and every morning at 7:02 "good morning beautiful" it was bliss! However he would get mad easily and then it would just suddenly have the red carpet ripped out from under me. I know I am focusing on the good and erasing the bad. He has another woman again. I can't forget that, it obviously wasn't as perfect for him, but why the planned engagement then? Ugh it's so hurtful. I just knew he was the one for me.

You are telling me nothing I don't know. Same thing for me. Every morning I would text her at 6:00 and say good morning beautiful. And she would text back good morning handsome. She even found coffee mugs that had that on them and bought them for us. So many times we tried to work things out. They would be perfect. She would embrace my arm when we were out shopping. She would hold my hand with both her hands. We would even sit on the same side of the booth. We we never afraid to display our affection for one another. And then little things would annoy her. Then she would get distant. I could tell when it was coming. We were engaged twice and she broke it off twice. And the last time said we need to get married soon. Then dumped me one week later. Why do they think this way? It seems so heartless. Especially when they tell you they love you

I researched so many mental health issues wondering if it's me or is it him. How can anyone seriously fall out of that kind of love so fast? Was it a game a lie??? I can't comprehend it but knowing there was always another woman who I was left for just downright HURTS. How can someone want to marry you one day and leave you the next? I literally woke up Tuesday morning kissed him, he wanted more I had to get kids up and going, he felt my attention was on them and suggested I take my things and go since everything and everyone else was more important and I thought "not this again" he helped get kids up and going and when I left to take them to school he packed our things, again. It's like a sick game.

Those thoughts went through my mind all the time. "Not this again" why does history have to keep repeating. I never had a problem with her living her kids. I have a 20 yr old son and u love him to death. I would do anything for him to an extent. She worshipped her son. We would plan on going to the beach on a sat. Then she would find out that her 15yr old son wasn't going out with his gf that day and he decided to stay home and hang in his room. So that meant we couldn't go out bc he may need her for something. It was too much. I hate to say it but most of the time we broke up it was because she didn't want to upset him and it would be better if I wasn't around. How do you say I love you and not mean it. Or only when it's convenient?

I don't get it!!! I go from mad to sad to completely devistated and back again. There is no choosing between your own kids and spouse. You BLEND. Sometimes easily sometimes not so easily.
His love came with conditions, if I stood up for my kids father at all he looked at it like i was putting their father above him. He wanted me to hate their dad and I do not. We get along great. My heads still spinning because when he did throw us out he always came back saying how much he loved me and wanted me but that I couldn't give him all of me... he just left the door open so that when it didn't work out with his new girlfriend he could come back to me. I feel like I've been played a fool: how could all that attention have been fake!?

A 15 year old should not hear you and his mom making love

Have more sense
Give the kid respect
Whether he respects you or not

I can only say I know this too well. I went through a break up of q0 years. I never thought I could be happy again or be a whole again or anything. I just wanted to lay down and cry. It's what I did everyday too for months. I did finally see someone and that helped. All I can say is it takes time and the wounds will heal. U will look back later and realize how wrong the relationship was for u and will be glad it ended. Relationships shouldn't be violent and abusive. I wish u well and happiness in the future. It will get better. I promise.

It was never intentional that he heard us. Two adults have the right to do that in their own privacy of their room he heard through the walls one night. And his response was too bad be angry with his mother all day and not speak to her. I recall is being a teenager and hearing my parents every once in awhile. I never once got mad at them for it

This is not going to be what you want to hear, but I think it’s something you NEED to hear. Who knows, she may come to her senses and come back, maybe not, but the important thing here is to use this time to get yourself together and deal with all the issues you’ve described in your initial post. I’m sorry Augie0214, what you all had is a dysfunctional and abusive relationship, that isn’t how love is supposed to work. Trust, love, mutual respect, and teamwork are all the hallmarks of a loving and functional relationship. I’ve been married for 16 years, we’re not perfect and we’ve been to counseling before, but yelling or screaming at one another is so infrequent I could count the times on two hands! Yes we disagree, yes we fight, but not to the point where we leave. Again, I am not the measure in which a standard is set, but I do know a bit about marriage etc. Find a support group, get together with those surviving a break up similar to yours, keep going to counseling and if she comes back, go to counseling together and work things through. All the stress you both put one another through isn’t healthy and I agree with one of the other people who said it’s a good thing this happened right now before you got married.

I hope she does come back, but I hope she does when you’ve both worked through the problems you’ve described and you can begin again in a healthy and happy lifestyle! I will pray for you both, hang in there, it’s a long road, but it will definitely be worth it.