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I made a mistake

sossie
sossie
I had to go over to what use to be our house yesterday and get some mail and attend to some things with him. I was doing good and we had a decent conversation, until we discussed the cat.

Now when he said something about her I didn't show any emotion. But he kept pushing me saying I was crying which I wasn't until he kept saying it over and over and for some unknown reason the tears crept up.

I walked out of the house, with tears in my eyes.

He apparently has been drinking over the night because he has sent me 4 emails, two with song lyrics, one in latin and the other a long letter about his heart breaking when he saw me cry and he wants me back.

I am NOT going back but I should have never showed him emotion because it only gave him the idea I am thinking about it and that there is a possibility.

I am putting distance between us for a couple of days. and I am not going to check my email for the day either...
deleted_user
deleted_user
that had to be hard. i'm sorry, sossie. yes, by all means, give yourself a break for a few days.

hang in there. this is the hard part but it will lighten eventually.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe it was a msitake, maybe it wasn't - you did what you did, and the encounter is over now. If you are like the rest of us, you will make plenty 'o more "mistakes" in the future, lol! I think it's great that you have a plan in place for the next couple of days.
MettaBhavana
MettaBhavana
Sossie, I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like he really knows how to get to you and push your buttons! It is difficult when you are trying to get distance, but there are practical concerns that you need to get together about. I am going through that issue too, where I know it is better for me not to have contact with my stbx, but we need to be in contact over some practical matters.

But you have some good thoughts for putting some distance between you for now, and maybe there are also some ways you can cut down on the face-to-face contact in general (like aranging to get your mail when he isn't there, if things like that would be practical). As Faithful says, this is hard now, but it will lighten eventually (at least, that is what I am trying to remind myself in my situation!)
deleted_user
deleted_user
my stbx husband and i fought over our 2 cats. one i had before we got together, one we got right after we started dating. he said i could take the one i had before i met him but not the other one. i didn't want to separate them so i just left them both there and got a new kitten. he can't replace the ones i left behind but it makes me miss them less.
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
since you haven't shown emotions, he did what he could to pull the tear out of you. Its allowed him to now believe that it opened the door for him to get to your heart with his niceness and sweet words.

I am sorry for the triggers he is pulling. Stay strong.